| You are a camera ~ So let's get focused! © Betty Sue Eaton |
| When you have lost someone, your focus is turned internally and all you can see, feel, sense, think is the death of that loved one. That is the process of grieving and is totally natural. But after a while - days, months, years - you want to move on to other things to occupy your thoughts and actions. In that sense, you, indeed, are the camera and you can focus on anything you choose instead of your constant grieving. What we feel at the loss of a loved one is sadness that they are no longer with us; loneliness that we do not have their companionship; desolation that we do not have the constant re-enforcement that we are loved, cherished, and supported for the rest of our lives. But after a while, we long re-establish lines of communication with the rest of the world and wish to rejoin it in a productive and rewarding way. So now is the time to re-focus! But where do you turn to do that? If you are employed, you can get back into the swing of things at work and become a 'joiner' in after work social activities; you can become one of the 'lunch on Friday' bunch; you can be available for counsel when a fellow employee needs a shoulder or a strong arm to aid them when they are down. If you are retired, as many who are grieving are, you can volunteer for a number of agencies that never have enough help. A few places that desperately need helpers are hospices for terminally ill patients, hospitals for patient courtesy attendants or front desk sign-in clerks, educational facilities for mentors or tutors, public libraries for assistants, and social agencies for companions for shut-in elderly or handicapped people. What about a focusing your attention in a local school as a cafeteria server, a nursery attendant at church or a hospitality phone attendant? One of my friends in Utah is a helper at an animal shelter. She and her husband have adopted two abused and homeless German Shephards and provide temporary foster care for another homeless Shephard and a Manx cat. There are even other more exotic animals that need homes and caring attention. It is a proven scientific fact that having a pet can lower the blood pressure in its human companion, a wonderful benefit to both the pet that is loved and cared for as well as for the one who gives it. All of these positions reacquaint you with the world in which you live and may even generate new friendships. More than that, helping someone or something is reaching outside your present situation to focus on others' needs more than your own. So as you can see, you, in fact, are the camera and can change your focus when you choose to. But that is the difficult part. Changing what you have been doing for some time is always difficult and may feel strange at first. But when you get into the swing of a new routine, it soon will become second nature for you and you will find yourself eagerly looking forward to the new experiences you will find there. I chose to mentor and tutor at a Native American community center for middle school children whose parent or parents worked past the time the school day ended for their children. It was a great learning experience for me as I have always been fascinated by that culture and wanted to learn first-hand more about it. I couldn't recommend more mentoring in your local after-school facility. As with teaching in grade school though, you may never know how much effect your influence had on that child for years to come when the student you have tutored or mentored has grown into an adult. But if your focus is centered on the subject, the result can be a truly beautiful picture for not only you, but for the people whom you have helped by changing your focus. Helping an elderly person with a bath, a rare facial, a meal or just companionship is a beautiful thing. Reading from the Bible to a patient in a hospice facility is precious beyond words. Bringing a late edition magazine to a bedridden hospital patient is a most refreshing event in their long days abed. Complimenting a child on improved printing, or numbers skills, or behavior will long be remembered by that child. It all depends on your focus. How do you heal your heart? Give some of it away! When you put God behind the focus, the picture you have to keep in your heart can only be a masterpiece! |
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