| Will there ever be a time when grief recovery sites will be obsolete? © Betty Sue Eaton |
When I began writing for Life After Loss and Rainbow Faith with Ferna Lary Mills,
I wondered, "Will there ever be a time that there is no need for web pages such as Life
After Loss, or grief websites such as RainbowFaith.com?" Of course, I already knew
the answer without even asking the question! As long as there is a mortal on Earth
and another here to care what happens to that mortal, there will always be a need for
such places of comfort.
Tonight, I am glad that I can go to RainbowFaith.com for comfort as I remember my
sister, Louise, who was called home last Sunday evening. But tonight, I shed no tears
for her. She fought for many, many years to survive a horribly debilitating disease that
took away her independence, her ability to speak and control her emotions, and finally,
her dignity. She succumbed to a Parkinson's-like syndrome the name of which I cannot
pronounce. Her muscles had atrophied to the point that she had to be fed by a tube
inserted into her stomach because she couldn't swallow. She fought it constantly. Her
mind was never affected until the very last few years, but the horror of the illness was
that it was trapped in a body going rigid and she was helpless to understand or prevent
what was happening.
Louise, third born of seven siblings, smart, intelligent, strong, determined like few I
have even known. She had so many great characteristics that space here will not
permit me to enumerate. But I must site a few: Loving, loyal, generous, God-fearing,
ever the teacher, beloved wife and helpmate, mother of one son and two daughters,
grandmother to eight. No, I should say that she was mother to nine because she was
always there for the other of her siblings at some time in our lives when we needed a
special loving hand on the shoulder and a little extra encouragement at low points in
our lives.
Her home was always a beehive of activity as she went about her days as though
having as many as 15 toddlers underfoot daily as she cared for them while parents
worked was a normal way of life. Along with making clothing for her girls, our mother
who lived with them the last few years of her life, herself, and bridesmaids gowns, band
uniforms and pep squad outfits for uncounted kids, she did alterations for the local dry
cleaning shop. She was trained in college as an Agricultural Home Extension Agent
and knew the value of nutritious food and economy, so her household and cooking was
always 'by the book'! Still, that wasn't enough to satisfy her drive of energy; she taught
advanced tailoring at Long Beach Junior College two nights a week as well to a
culturally and ethnically diverse group of people. Each time I made a garment for
myself or my daughters, she would want to inspect the inside side of it for neatness,
much to my chagrin!
We were raised in church with a minister for a Grandfather who shepherded us on the
"Amen Bench" and kept us very strictly in line! As we grew into adults, that teaching
remained with us, to the point that when Louise and her family sought to find a home
church in Seal Beach, California, and finding none, they helped to organize a small
American Baptist church with neighbors and friends. It outgrew several locations and
finally became established in it's own building with a very substantial congregation.
She lived her faith through kindnesses to her friends and neighbors - even people
whom she did not know. Anytime there was a death on their street, Louise organized
shelter for visiting family members, food provisions, and any other needs where she
and her neighbors could be of help. No one argued with Louise Murphy! They just
followed her example of Faith with Feet!
I grieve the fact that she is gone, but I do not grieve for her life. It was an exemplary
one that touched the lives of so many others in a wonderful way that I cannot know the
extent. I do know that Louise is going to be welcomed by our Heavenly Father who will
probably say, "Well done my child. Now, let's get to work!"
Louise, my beloved sister, protector, confidante, confessor, mentor, surrogate mother,
we will and have been missing you.
I wondered, "Will there ever be a time that there is no need for web pages such as Life
After Loss, or grief websites such as RainbowFaith.com?" Of course, I already knew
the answer without even asking the question! As long as there is a mortal on Earth
and another here to care what happens to that mortal, there will always be a need for
such places of comfort.
Tonight, I am glad that I can go to RainbowFaith.com for comfort as I remember my
sister, Louise, who was called home last Sunday evening. But tonight, I shed no tears
for her. She fought for many, many years to survive a horribly debilitating disease that
took away her independence, her ability to speak and control her emotions, and finally,
her dignity. She succumbed to a Parkinson's-like syndrome the name of which I cannot
pronounce. Her muscles had atrophied to the point that she had to be fed by a tube
inserted into her stomach because she couldn't swallow. She fought it constantly. Her
mind was never affected until the very last few years, but the horror of the illness was
that it was trapped in a body going rigid and she was helpless to understand or prevent
what was happening.
Louise, third born of seven siblings, smart, intelligent, strong, determined like few I
have even known. She had so many great characteristics that space here will not
permit me to enumerate. But I must site a few: Loving, loyal, generous, God-fearing,
ever the teacher, beloved wife and helpmate, mother of one son and two daughters,
grandmother to eight. No, I should say that she was mother to nine because she was
always there for the other of her siblings at some time in our lives when we needed a
special loving hand on the shoulder and a little extra encouragement at low points in
our lives.
Her home was always a beehive of activity as she went about her days as though
having as many as 15 toddlers underfoot daily as she cared for them while parents
worked was a normal way of life. Along with making clothing for her girls, our mother
who lived with them the last few years of her life, herself, and bridesmaids gowns, band
uniforms and pep squad outfits for uncounted kids, she did alterations for the local dry
cleaning shop. She was trained in college as an Agricultural Home Extension Agent
and knew the value of nutritious food and economy, so her household and cooking was
always 'by the book'! Still, that wasn't enough to satisfy her drive of energy; she taught
advanced tailoring at Long Beach Junior College two nights a week as well to a
culturally and ethnically diverse group of people. Each time I made a garment for
myself or my daughters, she would want to inspect the inside side of it for neatness,
much to my chagrin!
We were raised in church with a minister for a Grandfather who shepherded us on the
"Amen Bench" and kept us very strictly in line! As we grew into adults, that teaching
remained with us, to the point that when Louise and her family sought to find a home
church in Seal Beach, California, and finding none, they helped to organize a small
American Baptist church with neighbors and friends. It outgrew several locations and
finally became established in it's own building with a very substantial congregation.
She lived her faith through kindnesses to her friends and neighbors - even people
whom she did not know. Anytime there was a death on their street, Louise organized
shelter for visiting family members, food provisions, and any other needs where she
and her neighbors could be of help. No one argued with Louise Murphy! They just
followed her example of Faith with Feet!
I grieve the fact that she is gone, but I do not grieve for her life. It was an exemplary
one that touched the lives of so many others in a wonderful way that I cannot know the
extent. I do know that Louise is going to be welcomed by our Heavenly Father who will
probably say, "Well done my child. Now, let's get to work!"
Louise, my beloved sister, protector, confidante, confessor, mentor, surrogate mother,
we will and have been missing you.
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
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