| Ships That Pass In The Night © Betty Sue Eaton |
"Like ships that pass in the night, suddenly they appear and for one glorious moment in
time, they are close enough for us to touch, but we can't make them stay. They are on a
voyage and must sail on their way until they disappear beyond the horizon and are gone
on to another place".
Those words were spoken at the funeral on my youngest daughter, Paula who, at age
eleven, had been struck down by a careless driver on his way to a school homecoming
football game and was running late. Late by our reckoning, but by God's reckoning, right
on time to take Paula home. I had to experience all the anxiety, disbelief, denial, anger -
oh, what anger, and then finally the acceptance of the tragedy. The real tragedy was
that like most of us, we do not plan for that day; we do not plan to give all the love or
attention every day to those who are close to us, and whom we never could imagine
being taken from us. Most of us don't really pay attention to the loving moments in
between other duties like shopping for groceries, going to work, going to church, visiting
families on vacation, going to school bake sales and games and contests and ... and ...
you get the idea, and you have probably lived through all of those activities and maybe
still do.
After the shock of loss has worn off - or should I say becomes bearable, then comes the
guilt! If I had known she would be taken from us, I would have ... If I had only know her
time with us would be so short, I could have ... I know that I neglected to ... But I did have
to go to work ... All these are excuses to ease our guilt for just being human. Then
comes the work trying to find a way to make up for the time we failed to take advantage
of when we had it. But how do you make up for the lost time when it's too late? I
pondered that question in my mind for the longest time, and for the longest time, came
up without any answers. The reality is that once time is passed and spent, it's gone
forever and cannot be recalled nor atoned.
Then it came to me in a moment when my thoughts were blessedly free of the pangs of
guilt: Pay more attention to what God is telling you! He told you that your days on earth
were numbered even as the hairs on your head! Why didn't you believe Him? Did you
think that you and everyone in your family were immortal? When God sent Jesus to live
among men, He even knew the days that Christ would be allowed to live in the flesh of
mortals. If He could number the days of His only begotten son, don't you believe that He
also numbered your days? "The day of the Lord is near, and hasteth greatly, even the
voice of the day of the Lord: the mighty man shall cry there bitterly". (Zephaniah 1-14)
Of course, we all know that SOME time, SOME day, each of us will die, but in the
meantime, we go about our busy-ness without a thought of time fast running out. We go
about our days casually as though we would never die and there would always be time
enough to 'take care' of everything! Someday, we will have time enough to make doll
clothes with her; someday we will have time to show her how to make brownies;
someday we will take time to have a great, fancy, surprise birthday party for her and
invite all her school friends! Little did we think that THIS birthday would be her last here
on earth, but it was!
In the grand scheme of things, the older generations will pass on and new generations
will arise and grow old, then they, too will pass on, and in turn be replaced. That is what
throws us when we lose someone contrary to the grand scheme: Children. They are not
supposed to precede their parents in death, but sometimes they do! That fact alone is
reason enough for each of us to keep loving and being aware of our children - in fact,
keeping all of our families uppermost in our minds and do the chores of everyday in the
meantime. In that manner, we will not have to be plagued by guilt when a tragedy does
strike and we have to say, "I didn't know we would lose her (or him) so soon!" Or, "If I
had known, I would have loved her (him) more; I would have paid more attention to being
with them, just BEING with her (him)!"
"Like two ships passing in the night" are the generations, and for a while - a blink of an
eye in God's reckoning, we are families laughing, loving, caring for each other. And like
two ships passing in the night, one sails away beyond the horizon to their destination in
heaven, leaving one behind to follow in their own time. But surely, they too, will meet
another ship and sail away over the horizon. Each voyage has a very finite number of
days, years to be completed, but most certainly, they will be completed in God's own
time. Take Him along on your voyage and you will never have to say, "I'm sorry I didn't
take the time to be with my family and love them more".
time, they are close enough for us to touch, but we can't make them stay. They are on a
voyage and must sail on their way until they disappear beyond the horizon and are gone
on to another place".
Those words were spoken at the funeral on my youngest daughter, Paula who, at age
eleven, had been struck down by a careless driver on his way to a school homecoming
football game and was running late. Late by our reckoning, but by God's reckoning, right
on time to take Paula home. I had to experience all the anxiety, disbelief, denial, anger -
oh, what anger, and then finally the acceptance of the tragedy. The real tragedy was
that like most of us, we do not plan for that day; we do not plan to give all the love or
attention every day to those who are close to us, and whom we never could imagine
being taken from us. Most of us don't really pay attention to the loving moments in
between other duties like shopping for groceries, going to work, going to church, visiting
families on vacation, going to school bake sales and games and contests and ... and ...
you get the idea, and you have probably lived through all of those activities and maybe
still do.
After the shock of loss has worn off - or should I say becomes bearable, then comes the
guilt! If I had known she would be taken from us, I would have ... If I had only know her
time with us would be so short, I could have ... I know that I neglected to ... But I did have
to go to work ... All these are excuses to ease our guilt for just being human. Then
comes the work trying to find a way to make up for the time we failed to take advantage
of when we had it. But how do you make up for the lost time when it's too late? I
pondered that question in my mind for the longest time, and for the longest time, came
up without any answers. The reality is that once time is passed and spent, it's gone
forever and cannot be recalled nor atoned.
Then it came to me in a moment when my thoughts were blessedly free of the pangs of
guilt: Pay more attention to what God is telling you! He told you that your days on earth
were numbered even as the hairs on your head! Why didn't you believe Him? Did you
think that you and everyone in your family were immortal? When God sent Jesus to live
among men, He even knew the days that Christ would be allowed to live in the flesh of
mortals. If He could number the days of His only begotten son, don't you believe that He
also numbered your days? "The day of the Lord is near, and hasteth greatly, even the
voice of the day of the Lord: the mighty man shall cry there bitterly". (Zephaniah 1-14)
Of course, we all know that SOME time, SOME day, each of us will die, but in the
meantime, we go about our busy-ness without a thought of time fast running out. We go
about our days casually as though we would never die and there would always be time
enough to 'take care' of everything! Someday, we will have time enough to make doll
clothes with her; someday we will have time to show her how to make brownies;
someday we will take time to have a great, fancy, surprise birthday party for her and
invite all her school friends! Little did we think that THIS birthday would be her last here
on earth, but it was!
In the grand scheme of things, the older generations will pass on and new generations
will arise and grow old, then they, too will pass on, and in turn be replaced. That is what
throws us when we lose someone contrary to the grand scheme: Children. They are not
supposed to precede their parents in death, but sometimes they do! That fact alone is
reason enough for each of us to keep loving and being aware of our children - in fact,
keeping all of our families uppermost in our minds and do the chores of everyday in the
meantime. In that manner, we will not have to be plagued by guilt when a tragedy does
strike and we have to say, "I didn't know we would lose her (or him) so soon!" Or, "If I
had known, I would have loved her (him) more; I would have paid more attention to being
with them, just BEING with her (him)!"
"Like two ships passing in the night" are the generations, and for a while - a blink of an
eye in God's reckoning, we are families laughing, loving, caring for each other. And like
two ships passing in the night, one sails away beyond the horizon to their destination in
heaven, leaving one behind to follow in their own time. But surely, they too, will meet
another ship and sail away over the horizon. Each voyage has a very finite number of
days, years to be completed, but most certainly, they will be completed in God's own
time. Take Him along on your voyage and you will never have to say, "I'm sorry I didn't
take the time to be with my family and love them more".
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
100's of Inspirational Grief Poems and Stories |