Sometimes life is tough. Sometimes we feel like David, slinging only a small stone at a giant problem, and our greatest fear is that we will just make the problem worse. Sometimes things just work out better when we call in the big guns, when we use a real Power Tool! How about starting with this little quiz, to put things into perspective?

If you need to chop an old oak tree into pieces small enough to fit into your fireplace, you would use:

1. your bare hands
2. a butter knife
3. a small hatchet
4. a hefty chain saw (Power Tool)

If you needed to calculate the total material costs to build a 250,000 square foot building, you would use:

1. your fingers
2. a pencil
3. a calculator
4. a computer program designed exclusively for this task (Power Tool)

If you absolutely had to be in a town across the country from where you are right now, and you had to be there before tomorrow night, you would travel by:

1. walking on your own two feet
2. bicycle
3. car
4. an airplane or private jet plane (Power Tool)

If you needed the support of someone to help you through a really big crisis, you would first turn to:

1. your inner self
2. your next door neighbor
3. your closest relative
4. Someone who has every resource imaginable (and then some) at His very command (Power Tool)

You should notice that each set of answers goes from “YOU” … to something else…. to a Power Tool. You can see where “Power Tools” work better in every situation than trying to manhandle things by yourself. The point is this: No matter how big or how small the problem, task, or crisis may be … you have the greatest tool imaginable to tackle them all. Don’t grab for the smallest tool to tackle the most insurmountable problems. God is with you. He has ever resource at His command. He has promised that if you have faith as small as a mustard seed (which is really very, very small), you can move mountains! He’s the biggest tool in your life’s tool box.

No problem is too large for Him. If you think your problems are too large or too overwhelming, then you are underestimating the size and the awesome power of God.

Instead of reminding God how big your problems are, remind yourself how big God is!

If you think your problems are too small for such a majestic God to worry about, remind yourself that although he is God, he also calls you “Friend.” His greatest desire is to have that special, intimate, personal relationship with you. He wants you to want Him to help you.

When life is tough, use your own two hands… to put them together in prayer to reach for the greatest Power Tool available: the POWER of an awesome God who wants to be actively involved in your life. Put your problems into proper perspective, under the power and control of the One who lovingly calls you, “Friend”.

In John 15: 12-15, Jesus said:  “ Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

“When everyone is born, God gives them a little basket. This little one is yours. The big one is mine. As you grow, so does the basket. But if you notice, your little basket is inside of mine. Why? Because when you were born, there were too many things you couldn’t do for yourself. I had the responsibility of feeding you, changing you, bathing you, and everything else you couldn’t do on your own. So I put your basket in mine and I carry them both – for awhile.

“As you grew older and began to do some things on your own, I began placing a few more things in your basket. When you learned to tie your shoes, that went in your basket. You wouldn’t want me tying your shoes now that you can do it on your own. And when you learned how to put on your own clothes, I put that in your basket. You wouldn’t want me in charge of dressing you now, would you?”

She shook her head defiantly.

“Now, as you grow older, there will be more and more things you must do on your own. You will eventually carry your own basket, with things only you can do, like deciding who you want to be friends with, who you will date, who you will marry, what college you will go to…” and with that last note, I handed her the smaller basket.

She looked up at me and said, “I understand. There are some things that I have to do for myself because they are in my basket.”

“Yes,” I replied, “but it’s even more than that. For you decide the things that belong in your basket, or someone else’s. Like now, you decide what to do about your friend being upset with you. If your friend doesn’t like your decision and gets angry, then whose basket needs to hold her anger?”

She replied with a smile, “HER basket!”

As she began to fully grasp my meaning, I became lost in my own thoughts of my mother and grandmother who were living with us at that time, reminiscing of the things they used to do for me that now I do for them. I held up the big basket and said, “One day when I’m much older, there will be things I can no longer carry in my basket. When that time comes, eventually you will begin taking things out of my basket and placing them into your own. Just like I do now for Grandma and Memaw. Eventually, the things that are in my basket will be taken out, for I won’t always be strong enough to carry everything I’m carrying right now.”

Life is a circle.

I reached over and gently took her tiny basket from her hands and traded with her. As she felt the large handle of the big basket and watched me take the little one, she understood. Softly, I said, “Life is a circle.”

Placing the baskets back on the shelf, my own mother approached me and asked me what I was doing. I gave her my smug overview of the impromptu skit, feeling quite proud of myself. Mom simply smiled. However, a few days later, I was surprised to see one of the tiniest baskets I’ve ever seen perched on the top of my computer. It was small enough to hide in the palm of my hand. Underneath it was a note, in my mother’s handwriting, that said simply, “Just remember, your basket isn’t nearly as big as you think it is. Love, Mom.”

Since then, I have amended my basket story. My basket now fits in the palm of my hand. I choose what goes in it and what doesn’t. I also choose if and when I want to help carry someone else’s basket. But God holds the biggest basket of all, as big as the palm of His hand. Life works best when I keep my basket inside of His and let Him carry it – regardless of my age or capabilities.

There is only One who truly knows us, both inside and out. One who knows us from the beginning of time until the end of eternity, and everything in between. The One above who knows All. The Creator, the Author of our life. He has written loved ones into our life, and he has written their departure. He has also written every chapter of our life from beginning to end, and now, it is up to us to turn the page and enter the next chapter of this awesome book that He has written.

Now, this doesn’t mean we will forget our loved ones who are gone, for we never will. But it does mean that we are still here and our story is meant to continue on, at least for a time. We know this is true because we are still here. Our loved ones are still here … inside our heart, our thoughts and within our spirit. They will continue to follow us into this new adventure. Although the Author may never mention them again by name in our current book, we know they will always be a part of us. We are who we are because of them, and for that we are truly blessed. But until our grand reunion in that most Glorious Place, their name has temporarily been omitted from the rest of this book by an Author whose reasons are known only to Him.

For now, their names are emblazoned only on our heart, no longer on our pages. At times, we’re angry because we can’t comprehend the plot, and we can’t imagine the outcome of the final story. Sometimes it feels as if the Author is using up too much of his eraser and not enough of his pencil. But we must TRUST the Author with all of our heart and all of our being, and that’s the most important thing of all, no matter how the rest our story goes.

May God grant each of us the strength to get past the grief-filled pages and to walk through the pages of our new journey, letting new chapters unfold with new characters and new adventures. May He give us each the peace and mercy to continue as He continues to unfold the adventures ahead of us. May we understand that we are created in His image; He placed us within these pages and His pen has the final edit.

We may have many chapters left before our book is finished, or we may have only a sentence or two. Only our Author truly knows.  May we always keep our focus on Him, and keep His words always in our heart. For His love is perfect. His timing is perfect. And even though we may not fully understand it right now, His ending is going to be truly awesome, and beyond anything our minds can now conceive!

Enjoy your adventure, but along the way, spend some time falling deeply in love with the Author:  an awesome, loving, compassionate God.  

 ~ Ferna

Grief takes a huge toll on our soul. It’s an emptiness that can consume us and make us weary to the bone, although that term often seems like a huge understatement. We cry until no more tears will come; we bury our heads under our pillow; we find ourselves so low that we just can’t seem to find the strength to find our way back. Our strength is gone, our spirit is drained, and there seems to be nothing left to lift us back up out of this horrible pit. At this lowest point we just want to lie down and give up. It seems that life is no longer worth living and we would prefer to just to go sleep and never wake again.

That’s the depths that Grief can take us. So what can we do when we find ourselves at that depth? How do we break the chain of despair and reach the end of the rope that we turned loose of, and pull ourselves back up out of this pit? How do we find the strength? The desire? The courage? The will to go on?

It’s not easy, but it is possible, and I know this for I’ve been in that place of complete and total misery. I’ve seen it from the inside, felt it in the pit of my soul, and wrangled with its grip through the darkness of many nights. I know it’s not a pretty place and I know its powerful agony. I also know there is an escape ~ an escape from grief back to the world of the living ~ an escape that eventually leads to real joy.  This escape route begins with adjusting your focus. 

Do you remember the old camera’s, before the days of “auto-focus”? With those old cameras, if you didn’t manually adjust your focus you would end up with a photo of blurry people and a clear background. Or if you were taking a scenic snapshot, you might end up with a blurry scene and a clear telephone pole up close. Success or failure in taking just the perfect picture depended almost solely on your ability to manually focus that lens. 

Getting out of the mire of your grief depends almost totally on your ability to do that very same thing. Where is your focus? Can you only see what you have lost? Or maybe you just can’t see anything through your tears. Are you focused only on the past? Or focused on the emptiness of the present? All of these will give you a very blurry picture of your life and not a very pretty picture to give you hope enough to reach for the end of that rope.

Manually adjust your focus. 
Focus on Jesus.

Manually adjust your focus. Focus on Jesus. Period. If you can make that manual adjustment and find yourself focusing solely on Jesus and His love for you, then everything else will eventually fade away: the pain, the hurt, the emptiness, the despair. I don’t mean for you to focus on him temporarily. Rather, focus on him solely, continually, moment by moment, with your every waking breath. Talk with him in continual prayer, read the scriptures that tell of His love and His sacrifice for you. Listen for His still small voice in your heart. Ask Him to renew your spirit and be your strength. For only by focusing on Jesus will you find that place of peace and the renewal of your spirit. Only by focusing on His love will you fill that emptiness in your heart.

Sound too simple? Maybe. But it’s true. Jesus loves you. He grieves when you grieve and He wants to be your comforter, your savior, your best friend, your helper. All you have to do is focus on Him and ask. He will be your strength and carry you when you don’t have the strength to lift your head. He will cover you with a peace that no human on earth can begin to understand. He will show you the pathway for you to walk for a future filled with joy and He will walk with you every step of this new journey.

No human being on this planet can offer you relief from your grief. No amount of money, no event, no place on earth will give you that kind of peace. Yet His peace is given freely, and all that is required is that you seek Him.

Now, this kind of focus does take effort on your part. You have to lift your eyes to meet His, and you have to ask. You have to believe, and you have to trust Him. Trust in His eternal faithfulness. He is always with you and promises never to leave you. Never. Who else in this life can make that promise to you? Who else has the power to heal your aching heart? Who else loved you enough to die on a cross so that our life can be eternal and without end?

Reunions are being planned in Heaven, even as we weep. If we can keep our focus on Jesus, we can rest assured in His promise that we will see our loved ones again one day, and we can have His peace to continue to live out our lives until that appointed time.

When you find yourself falling back into that pit, re-adjust your focus back on Jesus. To focus on anything else may cause you to fall back into that pit of grief. If something is standing between you and Him, then move. Stay as close to His side as humanly possible. He will never leave you, but things in life will try to wedge between you and the Lord. When you feel alone and it seems like you just can’t feel His presence, remember His promise:  I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS. He will never leave you, ever. Remind yourself that He is STILL with you, even when you feel like you are all alone. Find that quiet place where you can be still and block out the noises of this life and just listen for His voice in your heart in the stillness. 

Most importantly, ALLOW Him to comfort you. He wants to, but you have to allow it. Be willing to give up your grief for His comfort. Sometimes it is so hard to do that because we feel like if we give up our “grief”, then we are failing to grieve our loved one properly. This is not so. Give your grief to Him and allow His comfort to take place. It does not mean you don’t still love and miss your loved one. It simply means that you have changed your focus….from your loved one….to Jesus. And that’s okay. Your loved one is sitting at Jesus’ feet, and that’s what they want you to do ~ focus on Jesus. Honor your loved ones in this way.

May the Peace of God, that surpasses all understanding, be with you. May you find that special relationship with Jesus, a friendship like no other, and may you find the real Joy that He has planned for you as you walk and talk with Him every step you take. ~  Ferna

Shopping for groceries every week is not on my list of the things I want to do before I die. I hate it, but it’s a necessary part of life. It’s bad enough that I have to walk all over a store as big as Dallas just to get all the things I need, but I also have to stop and check ingredients to be sure I’m buying healthy things. Last, but certainly not least, I have to check the expiration dates on all of the perishables to be sure I don’t end up paying for bad food. Nothing is more frustrating than getting home with a new carton of milk and realizing it is either already expired or will soon expire before your family has had time to consume it.

Perishables: things that perish. Of course we all know that everything on this planet will perish eventually. Yes, toxic waste and Styrofoam food cartons may be the last things to perish on this planet, but everything eventually is perishable. Some things, like milk products, are perishable within a few days or a week. Black pepper is good for 6 months to a year or more. Other things may last for centuries or even thousands of years before they disappear from landfills. So really, the only difference in perishables is their life-span.

With food, the expiration on the carton is not the date the carton self destructs, but the date that the product inside the carton expires. Milk lasts a short time, but the milk carton lasts for years, yet the carton is where the expiration date is printed.

We have an expiration date printed on our carton. It can be seen only by the eyes of our Creator. Our bodies are designed to expire at a time of His choosing. Some bodies last for a hundred years, while others expire before that first breath is fully drawn. Only God knows the number of our days, or our “expiration date”. He is the one who has appointed our individual life span.

Although we are listed on the list of perishables on this planet, our expiration is a lot different. Our carton, or our physical body, is what expires; not the contents inside. Our spirit that dwells inside our carton has been destined for eternity, to never expire. Jesus promised that by his death on cross, death for us has been defeated. Yes, our bodies will crumble and turn back into the dust of the earth, based on our date of expiration, but our Spirit will live forever. He promised.

We do not know the day or the hour of our expiration, so we should live as if the day is coming soon. You wouldn’t sit and hold a carton of milk day after day; worrying about the day it will expire, only to have it sour in your hands without being put to good use. So we also don’t want to waste what time we have, worrying about when our time will be up. Don’t let one day go to waste. Be what God intended for you to be, today. If he grants you a tomorrow, then do it again tomorrow, and so on, until your appointed time.

Don’t sit and spoil, wasting precious time. Don’t be like the carton of milk that was placed on the kitchen counter and forgotten. It expired much sooner than its intended expiration date before ever having the chance to fulfill its purpose.

There are many blessings out there. May you find more than your share. May your carton runneth over. ~ Ferna

“Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.” We have heard that saying many times. If we haven’t walked in someone else’s shoes, lived their life, fought their battles, known their joys and felt their pain, we can’t judge their actions or lack of actions. We also can’t know their true heart. All we can know is what we can see on the outside. It’s also impossible to judge a book by its cover, so why would we want to judge someone solely based on outward appearance?

Of course, the Bible says we are not to judge…period. That is God’s job at the appointed time. But it is our sinful, human nature to look at the way someone is living their life and without realizing it, make a snap judgment in our heart based upon what we either see or hear.

When we hear someone using foul language, or we see someone obviously drunk or under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or wearing inappropriate clothing, or unclean, it is human nature to judge them as not worthy.

What do we think when we see a scraggly, unshaven, unclean person standing beside the road with a sign begging for help? Human nature is to instinctively think that person needs to clean up and get a job. Human nature tells us that if we give that person money, they would just buy another drink. Human nature…

Human nature is not God’s nature. It is our sinful nature. God’s nature is Divine and Holy. For those who have Christ living within them, we have been instructed that we should be more like Christ. We need to learn to see with the eyes of Christ and respond accordingly, as Christ would respond. There’s a reason for the popular question: “What would Jesus Do?”

The more time we consciously spend reflecting on how Jesus would respond to a situation and try to become more like Him, the sooner we can stop consciously spending time reflecting on how Jesus would respond to a situation. It will become our Nature… Christ’s Nature within us.

Maybe the saying should be, “Never judge someone until you have walked a mile in Jesus’ sandals.”  The more we walk in His sandals in our daily walk through this life, the more we will understand the true heart of Christ.

Life is funny in a way. On the inside, we think we are just puttering along trying to get through it day by day, not really bothering anyone, just struggling along on our own merry way… or not so merry way.

Yet, it never ceases to amaze me how much one solitary soul can affect so many others in their daily walk… and most of the time, never even know it. You, for example. How many people did you interract with today? How many people did you smile at without even realizing it? Or (I hope not) how many people did you growl at through the day? Whichever, you emblazoned a part of yourself upon their heart, totally unintentionally of course. Maybe they will remember, maybe not; but you put it there, maybe for a moment, maybe eternally.

For example, I remember many years ago when one of my cousins was killed in a horrible accident. She was only 13, yet the oldest of 3 children. I went through “my” grief, just as the rest of the family went through “their” grief.  Having a small child of my own, I couldn’t possibly fathom how these parents could deal with such a loss. It broke my heart. Yet, every time I saw them, they always had a smile for me. Always.

One day, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I asked my aunt how, with the terrible loss and the tragic circumstances surrounding that loss, could she face each day, never-the-less with a smile. I really don’t remember her exact words, but she said something about the fact that she had to be strong for her other two children and her husband. She probably said something about her daughter being with the Lord… I can’t really remember as it was so long ago.

What I DO remember, is her smile, her strength, and the impression she made on ME. It changed me, maybe only a little (but it felt like a lot!), and although I’m sure she never gave our conversation a second thought, it’s something I’ve never forgotten:  a piece of her spirit she placed on my heart one day, many years ago.

Then remembering another time, I made a visit to the nursing home with my 2 oldest granchildren (ages 2 and 3 at that time) to visit their great-great grandmother, also some years ago. As we entered the foyer, an elderly woman was sitting alone in her wheelchair. My first thought was to just wheel the children (in a double stroller) down the hall to my grandmother’s room. Then I saw the lonely, empty stare in this woman’s eyes and had to wonder how long it had been since anyone had been to visit her.

I wheeled the girls over towards her and started a casual conversation, introducing the kids and telling her we had come to see “grandma”. In the 5-10 seconds those first couple of sentences tumbled out of my mouth, the transformation on this woman’s face was miraculous. The empty, hollow expression lit up like a million candles. Her eyes sparkled, color came back into her cheeks and the biggest grin I ever saw slowly crept across her face. She was beautiful!

It wasn’t much. It was simply giving her the recognition that she still mattered. A “hello” instead of looking the other way. A smile instead of disinterest. Two little giggling girls to laugh with, if only for a few moments. I don’t know if she remembered this moment after we parted, but I did. I believe that it made a difference, maybe in such a small way, but still a “good” way.

I hope that when my time comes and I’m sitting in a corner somewhere waiting….. that someone will offer me a smile, a pat on the hand, and a word or two of compassion. It doesn’t take much.

Souls touch throughout our lifetime, leaving fingerprints on our heart.  I believe this is truly what God intended when he said, “Love one another.” ~ Ferna Lary Mills

Grief is tuff enough when it comes in “one’s”.  Someone we love has been taken from us and a part of our heart has gone with them. I have often been asked, “Who has the greatest grief?”  Although grief comes in different shapes and sizes, the greatest grief is always your own. Others may have experienced grief, but no one has experienced YOUR grief… and that’s just the pain of “Grief x 1″.

So… what happens when grief is multiplied by 2, 3, 4, or what about 200,000?  I lost both of my parents within a 10-month span. Trust me, without the caring hearts of close friends and the caring hands of Jesus, I honestly believe I could not have managed to get through those awful days. That was “Grief x 2”. Several years prior, I lost my best friend and her entire family in a violent car accident. That was “Grief x 4” as my friend, her husband, and their two precious children died on Christmas Eve as a result of a drunk driver + an interstate highway + a Ford Pinto.

Many people in this country have gone through “Grief x 10, 20, or more” due to the attacks on 9/11, depending on the number of people they knew who perished on that day. Maybe some even experienced “Grief x 100”.  I don’t know.  But grief “times” any number, including the number 1 is unbearable by its very nature.

This week, watching the horrors in Haiti, crying over the photographs of pain and suffering, my heart aching for the elderly, the hurt, and the children who can’t fend for themselves, and for those who lost entire families and neighborhoods to the destruction, I can see “Grief x 200,000” and maybe even more!  

A nation wails, and their cries are heard around the world. The earth shouts in its grief. Maybe it even trembles in its grief, evidenced by the many aftershocks of this devastating earthquake. One woman was heard to cry out, “It’s the end of the world. It’s the end of the world.” I’m sure at that exact moment it felt like it, for it truly was the end of HER world as she knew it.

So, how can we as individuals, or as nations, or as simply citizens of Planet Earth cope with the insurmountable grief in the hundreds of thousands? How can we imagine a future for Haiti? How can we get past this immediate crisis and move forward with plans to rebuild and “get on with life” again? How can we even imagine that life can go on?

The answers are as simple as “Grief x 1”.  We hope … and because we have our Hope in Christ Jesus, our Hope has been promised to be fulfilled.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~ Isaiah 40:30-31

Hope… that small glimmer inside our heart that sometimes is all that is left in the midst of the destruction, all that is left of our Spirit, but yet… somehow enough.  We cling to that glimmer and allow Jesus to nourish it by our prayers until it grows strong enough that we can share it with others… strong enough to make US strong again… strong enough to lead the way to healing and the rebuilding of fractured and broken spirits, destroyed cities and nations.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. ~  Hebrews 10:23

He is faithful. He is always with us. I believe He grieves with us, His tears intermingling with our own as He holds us close during terrible crisis. As he holds you close, remember to hold steadfast to your faith and to the “hope we profess” for He IS faithful.

He promised!