In the early days of grieving, we can't conceive of the thought that someday the pain
will pass into a modicum of living as usual. In fact, we do well just to get from one
day to the next, one day at a time, never mind the rest of our lives, without the loved
one we lost.
So in the months and possibly years that have passed, the question poses itself:
WHAT NOW?
So, what now. Not a question, but a statement. Looking back, how did you manage
to progress thus far and how will you go on into your future?
Some of the ways that we got through the initial shock, disbelief, denial, anger, and
hopefully, acceptance, are just by getting up, going on, going to bed, and repeating
the process daily. Hopefully, there has been something or someone that was the
motivation for us to do that.
Another way is having people who have cared for us, who were there to encourage
us to grieve, yes, but to try to go on with whatever we had to do...we HAD to do to
survive. It could be a neighbor, a trusted long time friend, a church, a job and friends
there, or just the sheer willpower to get on with life. It sometimes is all to easy to just
go to bed, cover over our heads and try to forget the world and our pain.
I have found that most who are faced with tragedy, no matter what form it may take,
turn immediately to God, because He is the only one who can understand how
deeply we are aggrieved. He is the only one who doesn't need an explanation for
the moaning and crying out, yes, and even the cursing, that we all did in our
midnight hours, or driving down the road alone to go...to anywhere just to get away
from the scene of our "normal" lives that are far from normal anymore.
One of the most healing ways to recover from grief is to talk, and talk, and talk,
and..., but more than just talk to hear ourselves vent, we need to talk to someone
who has some inkling of what we are experiencing in our trial. I spoke readily with a
young flight attendant on a Southwest Airline plane about my grief for my son. She
initiated the conversation because of the sadness in my face. We have become very
good friends.
We never know where a "soul friend" will enter our lives. I call those events
serendipity, those wonderful events which cannot be planned or even expected, but
when they happen, everyone is uplifted by them. Be watchful for serendipity in your
life.
The most important person we can count on is Jesus Christ to hear us when we cry
out, understand us when we don't even understand ourselves, to comfort us when
no one else can and be there for us, even when we fail to call out to Him.
All of Life is a great mystery. God is a great mystery. If you think about it, we,
ourselves, are great mysteries. When we are born, we do not know exactly what our
lives will be made up of, and we are not promised by God smooth and even
existences without pain or troubles. What we are promised is limited time on the
earth, then if we accept Jesus as our personal saviour, eternal life with God, The
Father in Heaven.
When something happens to not go the way WE expect, we are angry,
disappointed, sad. How dare anything interfere with the way WE think things should
be going. We look for someone, or something to blame. But of course, if we blame
anyone living, we have to explain our anger to them and live with the consequences
of our outburst - for a reason that blamed person has no idea of. And doesn't that
sound ridiculous? To blame the family of a deceased person, or blame a disease for
taking a deceased person, a disease which has no intellect or feeling or persona, or
a situation which is an inanimate thing with no capability of acting or even reacting?
Only we humans do that.
Of course, we can acknowledge that those are absolutely insane thoughts when
examined in the light of day. But when we are hurting, grieving, lost, we are a little
insane, or certainly not thinking very rationally. And because we know in our hearts
that we cannot blame anything or anyone for our pain, if we are Christ-loving
people, we MUST go to God the Father for comfort. If we truly listen to His answers
to our prayers and pleadings, He will tell us that our lives are for HIM to control, not
us; that He never promised us anything but a limited number of days in our mortal
lives, and that if we put our trust and faith in Him, He will give us eternal lives with
Him in Heaven.
He knows the pain of suffering, of losing someone He loved so dearly, One who was
so pure and clean that He was the PerfEct Gift to making for their sins. Could any of
us freely give our loved ones for any price to gain anything at all? Without a second
of hesitation, we would all say NO! In fact, can any of us say that we knew when we
married a person whom we loved dearly and deeply, or gave birth to a child, we
were planning on giving them up for any reason at all? Absolutely not! But that, in
fact, is exactly what God promised us when we were born: Nothing in this life is in
our control. Sure, we go through our daily lives making plans, working, living just as
though we were in control, and to some extent we are. Our lives take on regular
patterns and we are comfortable with them as long as there are no interruptions to
what we EXPECT from those routines. But God never told us there wouldn't be
interruptions. He never told us we could never be fired from our jobs, lose our
homes in disasters, lose our health to some disease, or even our faith in Him.
What He did promise us is that He is The Rock, He is All powerful, all forgiving, all
loving, all faithful, all merciful. He is Everything. And if we trust and accept Him, we
will be comforted by Him. So when it comes to living with mortal pain and
disappointment, we must know in our hearts that we are living out His plan for us,
the greatest mystery of all, and praise Him more. He is the only One who can truly
understand and comfort us. He is the only One who will NEVER leave us. He is our
ONLY comfort and solace. He is the One who gave to us the dear one whom we
lost. For they were never "Ours", they were always God's. He just took them back
home before he did us. Praise God.
will pass into a modicum of living as usual. In fact, we do well just to get from one
day to the next, one day at a time, never mind the rest of our lives, without the loved
one we lost.
So in the months and possibly years that have passed, the question poses itself:
WHAT NOW?
So, what now. Not a question, but a statement. Looking back, how did you manage
to progress thus far and how will you go on into your future?
Some of the ways that we got through the initial shock, disbelief, denial, anger, and
hopefully, acceptance, are just by getting up, going on, going to bed, and repeating
the process daily. Hopefully, there has been something or someone that was the
motivation for us to do that.
Another way is having people who have cared for us, who were there to encourage
us to grieve, yes, but to try to go on with whatever we had to do...we HAD to do to
survive. It could be a neighbor, a trusted long time friend, a church, a job and friends
there, or just the sheer willpower to get on with life. It sometimes is all to easy to just
go to bed, cover over our heads and try to forget the world and our pain.
I have found that most who are faced with tragedy, no matter what form it may take,
turn immediately to God, because He is the only one who can understand how
deeply we are aggrieved. He is the only one who doesn't need an explanation for
the moaning and crying out, yes, and even the cursing, that we all did in our
midnight hours, or driving down the road alone to go...to anywhere just to get away
from the scene of our "normal" lives that are far from normal anymore.
One of the most healing ways to recover from grief is to talk, and talk, and talk,
and..., but more than just talk to hear ourselves vent, we need to talk to someone
who has some inkling of what we are experiencing in our trial. I spoke readily with a
young flight attendant on a Southwest Airline plane about my grief for my son. She
initiated the conversation because of the sadness in my face. We have become very
good friends.
We never know where a "soul friend" will enter our lives. I call those events
serendipity, those wonderful events which cannot be planned or even expected, but
when they happen, everyone is uplifted by them. Be watchful for serendipity in your
life.
The most important person we can count on is Jesus Christ to hear us when we cry
out, understand us when we don't even understand ourselves, to comfort us when
no one else can and be there for us, even when we fail to call out to Him.
All of Life is a great mystery. God is a great mystery. If you think about it, we,
ourselves, are great mysteries. When we are born, we do not know exactly what our
lives will be made up of, and we are not promised by God smooth and even
existences without pain or troubles. What we are promised is limited time on the
earth, then if we accept Jesus as our personal saviour, eternal life with God, The
Father in Heaven.
When something happens to not go the way WE expect, we are angry,
disappointed, sad. How dare anything interfere with the way WE think things should
be going. We look for someone, or something to blame. But of course, if we blame
anyone living, we have to explain our anger to them and live with the consequences
of our outburst - for a reason that blamed person has no idea of. And doesn't that
sound ridiculous? To blame the family of a deceased person, or blame a disease for
taking a deceased person, a disease which has no intellect or feeling or persona, or
a situation which is an inanimate thing with no capability of acting or even reacting?
Only we humans do that.
Of course, we can acknowledge that those are absolutely insane thoughts when
examined in the light of day. But when we are hurting, grieving, lost, we are a little
insane, or certainly not thinking very rationally. And because we know in our hearts
that we cannot blame anything or anyone for our pain, if we are Christ-loving
people, we MUST go to God the Father for comfort. If we truly listen to His answers
to our prayers and pleadings, He will tell us that our lives are for HIM to control, not
us; that He never promised us anything but a limited number of days in our mortal
lives, and that if we put our trust and faith in Him, He will give us eternal lives with
Him in Heaven.
He knows the pain of suffering, of losing someone He loved so dearly, One who was
so pure and clean that He was the PerfEct Gift to making for their sins. Could any of
us freely give our loved ones for any price to gain anything at all? Without a second
of hesitation, we would all say NO! In fact, can any of us say that we knew when we
married a person whom we loved dearly and deeply, or gave birth to a child, we
were planning on giving them up for any reason at all? Absolutely not! But that, in
fact, is exactly what God promised us when we were born: Nothing in this life is in
our control. Sure, we go through our daily lives making plans, working, living just as
though we were in control, and to some extent we are. Our lives take on regular
patterns and we are comfortable with them as long as there are no interruptions to
what we EXPECT from those routines. But God never told us there wouldn't be
interruptions. He never told us we could never be fired from our jobs, lose our
homes in disasters, lose our health to some disease, or even our faith in Him.
What He did promise us is that He is The Rock, He is All powerful, all forgiving, all
loving, all faithful, all merciful. He is Everything. And if we trust and accept Him, we
will be comforted by Him. So when it comes to living with mortal pain and
disappointment, we must know in our hearts that we are living out His plan for us,
the greatest mystery of all, and praise Him more. He is the only One who can truly
understand and comfort us. He is the only One who will NEVER leave us. He is our
ONLY comfort and solace. He is the One who gave to us the dear one whom we
lost. For they were never "Ours", they were always God's. He just took them back
home before he did us. Praise God.
| Grief Recovery © Betty Sue Eaton |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
100's of Inspirational Grief Poems and Stories |