I had a very dear friend in Texas, lovingly referred to as NoNo, who was retired
along with her husband, Les, to the Lake LBJ area. They developed many
affectionate friends in the time they were there. Then Les became ill with cancer
and subsequently died. NoNo found solace with their many friends who were all
bridge players. One by one, they too, sickened and died.
After the 5th one passed away, not including her own mother and step-father, she
wrote me a very depressed letter to the fact that she had not opened her blinds in
two weeks. All her loved ones were dying and she just couldn't cope anymore.
She had fallen into a very deep, dark depression and had become totally
immobile, so sick at heart as she was.
It tore my heart out to see my beloved friend so heart broken and sad. I wrote her
that all her friends relied on her to keep them positive and hopeful as they
became ill, and comforted and uplifted when it was apparent they couldn't get
better. I also pointed out to her that she had been the one bright spot in their
struggles and placed their very survival for another day in her being there. And
that was reason enough to be thankful that she WAS there, not sad for herself
that they were gone.
Maybe we all are not blessed with such a compassionate heart and manner as
NoNo's, but there are some things and attitudes we can adopt that will give the
same kind of hope and encouragement as she did.
Grieving is hard work; make no mistake about it. Once we get beyond the initial
shock of the death of a loved one, or a separation or divorce in a marriage, we
must get down to the realization that things are not going to change, no matter
how much we wish for it. Then, the true impact of where we are sets in and the
real work begins.
God gave us a taste of the best when He gave us our mate, child, friend, or
"significant other" to share our lives and bring joy to our existence. Shouldn't we,
then, give Him the best we have in any situation He chooses to place us in? It is
not only normal, but entirely human to resent the unexpected turn of events
wherein we are left without the one we loved and cherished, but it is totally
expected that we should feel shock and disbelief that they are gone.
But if we can believe His promise that we are loved as His children and as such
are cared for in the most beloved way possible, shouldn't we give back in the
same measure to Him who, after all, gave us life on earth as well as life eternal
with Him?
Most of us think we have no choice in the way we deal with this loss on the
surface. But we do, in fact, have a choice. We can shutter ourselves behind
closed doors, isolate ourselves from friendships and contacts, and withdraw from
interaction with anyone, even as NoNo did. But is this what God would have
wanted of a courageous child of His? I think not. What He would want us to
realize is this: There are others, even among our own peer group, who sorely
need a shoulder, a hand, a hug, just to carry on from day to day, and as we are
the ones who have walked the path that they are headed down at this very
minute, can we do no less? I think not.
So, my fellow travelers down this difficult road of recovery from loss, we must
pray and vow each and every day to serve others who have not yet come to grips
with the loss that we all have suffered and try to make their paths easier as
others have tried to make ours.
along with her husband, Les, to the Lake LBJ area. They developed many
affectionate friends in the time they were there. Then Les became ill with cancer
and subsequently died. NoNo found solace with their many friends who were all
bridge players. One by one, they too, sickened and died.
After the 5th one passed away, not including her own mother and step-father, she
wrote me a very depressed letter to the fact that she had not opened her blinds in
two weeks. All her loved ones were dying and she just couldn't cope anymore.
She had fallen into a very deep, dark depression and had become totally
immobile, so sick at heart as she was.
It tore my heart out to see my beloved friend so heart broken and sad. I wrote her
that all her friends relied on her to keep them positive and hopeful as they
became ill, and comforted and uplifted when it was apparent they couldn't get
better. I also pointed out to her that she had been the one bright spot in their
struggles and placed their very survival for another day in her being there. And
that was reason enough to be thankful that she WAS there, not sad for herself
that they were gone.
Maybe we all are not blessed with such a compassionate heart and manner as
NoNo's, but there are some things and attitudes we can adopt that will give the
same kind of hope and encouragement as she did.
Grieving is hard work; make no mistake about it. Once we get beyond the initial
shock of the death of a loved one, or a separation or divorce in a marriage, we
must get down to the realization that things are not going to change, no matter
how much we wish for it. Then, the true impact of where we are sets in and the
real work begins.
God gave us a taste of the best when He gave us our mate, child, friend, or
"significant other" to share our lives and bring joy to our existence. Shouldn't we,
then, give Him the best we have in any situation He chooses to place us in? It is
not only normal, but entirely human to resent the unexpected turn of events
wherein we are left without the one we loved and cherished, but it is totally
expected that we should feel shock and disbelief that they are gone.
But if we can believe His promise that we are loved as His children and as such
are cared for in the most beloved way possible, shouldn't we give back in the
same measure to Him who, after all, gave us life on earth as well as life eternal
with Him?
Most of us think we have no choice in the way we deal with this loss on the
surface. But we do, in fact, have a choice. We can shutter ourselves behind
closed doors, isolate ourselves from friendships and contacts, and withdraw from
interaction with anyone, even as NoNo did. But is this what God would have
wanted of a courageous child of His? I think not. What He would want us to
realize is this: There are others, even among our own peer group, who sorely
need a shoulder, a hand, a hug, just to carry on from day to day, and as we are
the ones who have walked the path that they are headed down at this very
minute, can we do no less? I think not.
So, my fellow travelers down this difficult road of recovery from loss, we must
pray and vow each and every day to serve others who have not yet come to grips
with the loss that we all have suffered and try to make their paths easier as
others have tried to make ours.
| Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled © Betty Sue Eaton |
| Father, help us to Keep a prayerful silence that we may make sense the unspoken emotions of a broken heart. Keep a silent ear that we may hear the unuttered cries of an injured soul. Keep a gentle tongue that we may not add to the load of a mourner in his pain. Keep a loving shoulder ready to accept the tears of a grieving survivor. Keep ever-open arms that we may embrace to encourage one in grief. Keep ever in prayer that our Father will be ever with us. Amen |
| Prayer |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
100's of Inspirational Grief Poems and Stories |