| I had a very dear friend in Texas, lovingly referred to as NoNo, who was retired along with her husband, Les, to the Lake LBJ area. They developed many affectionate friends in the time they were there. Then Les became ill with cancer and subsequently died. NoNo found solace with their many friends who were all bridge players. One by one, they too, sickened and died. After the 5th one passed away, not including her own mother and step-father, she wrote me a very depressed letter to the fact that she had not opened her blinds in two weeks. All her loved ones were dying and she just couldn't cope anymore. She had fallen into a very deep, dark depression and had become totally immobile, so sick at heart as she was. It tore my heart out to see my beloved friend so heart broken and sad. I wrote her that all her friends relied on her to keep them positive and hopeful as they became ill, and comforted and uplifted when it was apparent they couldn't get better. I also pointed out to her that she had been the one bright spot in their struggles and placed their very survival for another day in her being there. And that was reason enough to be thankful that she WAS there, not sad for herself that they were gone. Maybe we all are not blessed with such a compassionate heart and manner as NoNo's, but there are some things and attitudes we can adopt that will give the same kind of hope and encouragement as she did. Grieving is hard work; make no mistake about it. Once we get beyond the initial shock of the death of a loved one, or a separation or divorce in a marriage, we must get down to the realization that things are not going to change, no matter how much we wish for it. Then, the true impact of where we are sets in and the real work begins. God gave us a taste of the best when He gave us our mate, child, friend, or "significant other" to share our lives and bring joy to our existence. Shouldn't we, then, give Him the best we have in any situation He chooses to place us in? It is not only normal, but entirely human to resent the unexpected turn of events wherein we are left without the one we loved and cherished, but it is totally expected that we should feel shock and disbelief that they are gone. But if we can believe His promise that we are loved as His children and as such are cared for in the most beloved way possible, shouldn't we give back in the same measure to Him who, after all, gave us life on earth as well as life eternal with Him? Most of us think we have no choice in the way we deal with this loss on the surface. But we do, in fact, have a choice. We can shutter ourselves behind closed doors, isolate ourselves from friendships and contacts, and withdraw from interaction with anyone, even as NoNo did. But is this what God would have wanted of a courageous child of His? I think not. What He would want us to realize is this: There are others, even among our own peer group, who sorely need a shoulder, a hand, a hug, just to carry on from day to day, and as we are the ones who have walked the path that they are headed down at this very minute, can we do no less? I think not. So, my fellow travelers down this difficult road of recovery from loss, we must pray and vow each and every day to serve others who have not yet come to grips with the loss that we all have suffered and try to make their paths easier as others have tried to make ours. |
| Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled © Betty Sue Eaton |
| Father, help us to Keep a prayerful silence that we may make sense the unspoken emotions of a broken heart. Keep a silent ear that we may hear the unuttered cries of an injured soul. Keep a gentle tongue that we may not add to the load of a mourner in his pain. Keep a loving shoulder ready to accept the tears of a grieving survivor. Keep ever-open arms that we may embrace to encourage one in grief. Keep ever in prayer that our Father will be ever with us. Amen |
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