| A Poetic Journey Through Grief A unique "trilogy" of poems, each complete within itself, but part of a "whole" in describing the grief process. © Ferna Lary Mills |
| When My Grief Was New Bury my head in the sand til my heart no longer cries for there's no pain like the pain you feel when a loved one dies. Bury my heart in the ground til the very last moment in time, for there's nothing left inside me to give, no poems left in me to rhyme. Bury my soul in the sea till the waters turn into clay, for there's nothing left to hope for now that my love has gone away. Bury my hopes and dreams and my laughter and smiles, too, for there's no one left on the face of this earth that cares if I ever do. Bury me last but not least in the grave by my loved one's side, and let peace return to this lonesome beast since my loved one died. Along Grief's Journey I hear little children laughing and the sound brings my soul such pain. Yet I know in my heart that life goes on and I must learn to live again. Some days I stay so busy I don't even realize you're gone. Then there are all of those other days when I feel like I can't go on. Sometimes I think I dreamed you . . . that you never existed for real. You've been gone so long and I'm just not strong for my life has become surreal. They tell me it's time to let go and build a new life without you. But the builder is weak and I can't even speak and I don't know what else to do. How long will this pain last, Lord? How many tears have I already cried? It seems like forever since my world fell apart when my loved one died. Peace in My Soul It was such an awesome day and I stopped to stare up at the sky. My heart skipped a beat as I heard you speak when you asked the angel, "Why?" "I wrote 'I love you' in the sky as big and as plain as can be. How can she stand down there and look up here and still not be able to see?" The clouds were broken and thin, and swirled randomly through the air. I searched and strained at all that remained of the swirls of white still there. The angel's voice was soft and low as I smiled and raised my brow, and I heard her say in the strangest way "She's starting to see it now." There's a bittersweet peace in my soul and a sense of awesome pride knowing you're up there writing words in the air, and our love has never died. |
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