Where are you?
No, I don't mean what city or state you live in. But rather what "state" of grief are you in right
now? Has it been a few days, a few weeks, a few years? If your loss has been very recent,
my heart goes out to you. If it's been a long time now, well, my heart still goes out to you. For
we never truly get completely over our loss.
So, more specifically: Have you found that place in your heart (hiding beneath all your
sorrow) where there is joy - however small? Deep down in your heart, in the midst of all of
the grief and the sorrow that you've had to endure, is there a spot within you where you can
honestly say you have found any happiness in your life? Any peace? Can you find any joy
At first, and throughout the early stages of your grief, it's very possible that no matter how
hard you struggle, there is NO happiness to be found. But as you weave your way through
your grief, coming to terms with the permanency of your loss and the fact that you are now
facing a new world ~ a world without that special loved one, you must spend some time
seeking that glimmer of peace that is still left in your soul.
Where is your joy?
I remember vividly a period during my own grief when my most profound question to God was
"Where is my joy?" For no matter how hard I tried, I could find no joy left in my life. Oh, it was
still there. It was simply covered with two tons of sorrow and a hundred pounds of self pity,
and I just couldn't find it. Or, at least I couldn't find it -- then.
Grief is a mask. It hides your sense of self worth, even your sense of self, your hopes and
dreams, and your joy. Until you can gain the strength to lift that heavy mask, you'll never see
the wondrous person you are inside and the joy that is still buried deep within your soul.
Spend some time each day searching from within. Although it's elusive at times, it is still there.
Where is that strength?
Where is Superman when you need him? No matter how hard I tried to lift that heavy mask, I
felt as if I had been cryptonited (is that a word?). There was no strength left in me. My
strength had ran off with my joy, for I could find neither of them.
Thank God, I didn't have to rely on my own strength. Superman came to my rescue. Well, in a
sense, anyway. For it took a Supernatural Power. The supernatural power of an awesome
God. Through His strength alone I was able to lift that heavy mask of grief. Through His
strength alone I was able to make it through each day. And through His strength alone I was
able to get down into my soul and discover the wondrous joy that still resides there!
For HE is my joy! And through that joy, I've found so many other joys in my life again: my
children, very special friends, my church, my work, and my special interests. I never dreamed
it possible that joy would return - but it has!
Sometimes I feel guilty that I can still feel joy, when I still feel such loss at the same time. But I
know my loved ones would want me to have that joy and to live life to it's fullest until the time
comes that God calls ME home. It's not meant that I spend every last day of my life buried in
my sorrow. Nor is it meant for you to do that either.
Do you pray? Often?
It's so important that you pray, and pray often. For God hears your every prayer and through
these prayers, not only will you find God:
You will find peace.
You will find comfort.
You will find joy.
You will find strength.
You will find direction.
You will find yourself.
Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
~ Psalm 30:5
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© Ferna Lary Mills
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Life After Loss
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