| A Bitter Soul is an Awful Thing to Taste © Ferna Lary Mills |
How are your taste buds?
My mother's favorite saying when I was growing up was: "Try it. You might like it.
Your taste buds change."
Sure enough, she was right. I went from nausea at the mere sight of broccoli when I
was a child, to loving it now freshly steamed. If you had told me 30 years ago that I
would learn to love broccoli, I would have laughed in your face.
There's also the opposite of that. When I was a child, nothing tasted better than
vanilla ice cream. Now? Well, if I'm going to indulge in that many calories, I can
think of a few things I would prefer instead (not even mentioning the chocolate
category!).
Taste buds change for a reason. Every few days, the old taste buds fall off, and
new ones grow in their place. Like hair and fingernails I suppose, but thankfully
neither one of those are grown in our mouth. Anyway, as new taste buds grow to
replace old ones, they change however slightly. Over time, this slight change may
become more noticeable. (Like the broccoli thing.) Suddenly, one day you realize
you like something new, or don't like something you used to.
It's not a bad thing. . . Just a change thing.
Is change acceptable?
Grief is an erosion to our soul, similar to whatever force causes old taste buds to
drop off, but in a much greater intensity. (Like the difference between a gentle
breath and a hurricane!) However, the basic philosophy is still the same, for it
results in change. Our priorities change. Our life changes. Our innermost hopes
and dreams change.
How you handle this change is actually more important than the change itself. If
you discover that you like broccoli, will you still refuse to eat it? Just because you
hated it for so long? Just because your life is different, does that detract from it's
value? No. It's not a worse life. It's only changed.
What is the bitter truth?
Did you ever bite into something that was really bitter? I don't mean sour, but really
bitter! It locks your jaws and if it's strong enough, it can even take your breath
away. Bitterness in our soul will do the same thing. It will lock our spirit inside where
nothing and no one can reach it, until it takes our last breath away.
Bitter, is the result of constantly looking backwards and yearning for a different
outcome of those events. It's easy to become bitter. "I want my life back!" How
many of us have said that at one time or another? I know I surely have. We yearn
for that old life, the one we had when our loved one was still walking this earth
beside us. But bitterness won't bring them back. Bitterness will result in even more
change to the life we have yet to live, but not Good Change. It will leave us empty,
angry, and sour with the rest of the world, and maybe even towards God.
What is the bitter cure?
If you've discovered that bitterness is holding you back, keeping you from making
those growth changes in your life as you move on from your grief, there is a cure.
But before I tell you the cure, you must admit to yourself that a cure is needed.
Bitter is bad. Change is not. Bitter is also lonely. So repeat these words: "I don't
want bitterness in my life. I want to be free!"
Okay, if you're read this far, then you deserve to know the cure. The only way to
cure bitterness is with your eyes.
Stop looking back. Instead, start looking up!
Trust in God that He has a plan for your life. Trust that His plan is Good. Seek His
wisdom and guidance for your life and know that He has promised to lead and
guide you and to never leave you. Never! Seek Him with your whole heart. He will
never leave you bitter. In fact, He will never leave you. Ever!
My mother's favorite saying when I was growing up was: "Try it. You might like it.
Your taste buds change."
Sure enough, she was right. I went from nausea at the mere sight of broccoli when I
was a child, to loving it now freshly steamed. If you had told me 30 years ago that I
would learn to love broccoli, I would have laughed in your face.
There's also the opposite of that. When I was a child, nothing tasted better than
vanilla ice cream. Now? Well, if I'm going to indulge in that many calories, I can
think of a few things I would prefer instead (not even mentioning the chocolate
category!).
Taste buds change for a reason. Every few days, the old taste buds fall off, and
new ones grow in their place. Like hair and fingernails I suppose, but thankfully
neither one of those are grown in our mouth. Anyway, as new taste buds grow to
replace old ones, they change however slightly. Over time, this slight change may
become more noticeable. (Like the broccoli thing.) Suddenly, one day you realize
you like something new, or don't like something you used to.
It's not a bad thing. . . Just a change thing.
Is change acceptable?
Grief is an erosion to our soul, similar to whatever force causes old taste buds to
drop off, but in a much greater intensity. (Like the difference between a gentle
breath and a hurricane!) However, the basic philosophy is still the same, for it
results in change. Our priorities change. Our life changes. Our innermost hopes
and dreams change.
How you handle this change is actually more important than the change itself. If
you discover that you like broccoli, will you still refuse to eat it? Just because you
hated it for so long? Just because your life is different, does that detract from it's
value? No. It's not a worse life. It's only changed.
What is the bitter truth?
Did you ever bite into something that was really bitter? I don't mean sour, but really
bitter! It locks your jaws and if it's strong enough, it can even take your breath
away. Bitterness in our soul will do the same thing. It will lock our spirit inside where
nothing and no one can reach it, until it takes our last breath away.
Bitter, is the result of constantly looking backwards and yearning for a different
outcome of those events. It's easy to become bitter. "I want my life back!" How
many of us have said that at one time or another? I know I surely have. We yearn
for that old life, the one we had when our loved one was still walking this earth
beside us. But bitterness won't bring them back. Bitterness will result in even more
change to the life we have yet to live, but not Good Change. It will leave us empty,
angry, and sour with the rest of the world, and maybe even towards God.
What is the bitter cure?
If you've discovered that bitterness is holding you back, keeping you from making
those growth changes in your life as you move on from your grief, there is a cure.
But before I tell you the cure, you must admit to yourself that a cure is needed.
Bitter is bad. Change is not. Bitter is also lonely. So repeat these words: "I don't
want bitterness in my life. I want to be free!"
Okay, if you're read this far, then you deserve to know the cure. The only way to
cure bitterness is with your eyes.
Stop looking back. Instead, start looking up!
Trust in God that He has a plan for your life. Trust that His plan is Good. Seek His
wisdom and guidance for your life and know that He has promised to lead and
guide you and to never leave you. Never! Seek Him with your whole heart. He will
never leave you bitter. In fact, He will never leave you. Ever!
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Life After Loss |