|A bitter soul is an awful thing to taste.
© Ferna Lary Mills
How are your taste buds?
My mother's favorite saying when I was growing up was: "Try it. You might like it. Your taste
Sure enough, she was right. I went from nausea at the mere sight of broccoli when I was a
child, to loving it now freshly steamed. If you had told me 30 years ago that I would learn to
love broccoli, I would have laughed in your face.
There's also the opposite of that. When I was a child, nothing tasted better than vanilla ice
cream. Now? Well, if I'm going to indulge in that many calories, I can think of a few things I
would prefer instead (not even mentioning the chocolate category!).
Taste buds change for a reason. Every few days, the old taste buds fall off, and new ones
grow in their place. Like hair and fingernails I suppose, but thankfully neither one of those are
grown in our mouth. Anyway, as new taste buds grow to replace old ones, they change
however slightly. Over time, this slight change may become more noticeable. (Like the broccoli
thing.) Suddenly, one day you realize you like something new, or don't like something you once
It's not a bad thing. . . Just a change thing.
Is change acceptable?
Grief is an erosion to our soul, similar to whatever force causes old taste buds to drop off, but
in a much greater intensity. (Like the difference between a gentle breath and a hurricane!)
However, the basic philosophy is still the same, for it results in change. Our priorities change.
Our life changes. Our innermost hopes and dreams change.
How you handle this change is actually more important than the change itself. If you discover
that you like broccoli, will you still refuse to eat it? Just because you hated it for so long? Just
because your life is different, does that detract from it's value? No. It's not a worse life. It's only
What is the bitter truth?
Did you ever bite into something that was really bitter? I don't mean sour, but really bitter! It
locks your jaws and if it's strong enough, it can even take your breath away. Bitterness in our
soul will do the same thing. It will lock our spirit inside where nothing and no one can reach it,
until it takes our last breath away.
Bitter, is the result of constantly looking backwards and yearning for a different outcome of
those events. It's easy to become bitter. "I want my life back!" How many of us have said that
at one time or another? I know I surely have. We yearn for that old life, the one we had when
our loved one was still walking this earth beside us. But bitterness won't bring them back.
Bitterness will result in even more change to the life we have yet to live, but not Good
Change. It will leave us empty, angry, and sour with the rest of the world, and maybe even
What is the bitter cure?
If you've discovered that bitterness is holding you back, keeping you from making those growth
changes in your life as you move on from your grief, there is a cure. But before I tell you the
cure, you must admit to yourself that a cure is needed. Bitter is bad. Change is not. Bitter is
also lonely. So repeat these words: "I don't want bitterness in my life. I want to be free!"
Okay, if you're read this far, then you deserve to know the cure. The only way to cure
bitterness is with your eyes.
Stop looking back. Instead, start looking up!
Trust in God that He has a plan for your life. Trust that His plan is Good. Seek His wisdom and
guidance for your life and know that He has promised to lead and guide you and to never
leave you. Never! Seek Him with your whole heart. He will never leave you bitter. In fact, He
will never leave you. Ever!
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|Love one another ~ John 15:12
Pray for one another ~ James 5:15
Encourage one another ~ Hebrews 3:13
Comfort one another ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:18
Life After Loss
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