| Wiping the tears from our "Why's" © Betty Sue Eaton |
Why am I left alive when my loved one is taken from me? Why should I try to go on
living when my world has been shattered? Why?
All of these "Why's" are what everyone who has been rocked by a death in their family
asks as if someone will provide them an answer. There seems to be no answer! But
there ARE answers, and they make wonderful sense!
I once wrote and conducted a seminar with the help of my friend and co-instructor, Dr.
Gil Fleer. He just happened to be a Methodist minister and sociology instructor at our
college. Our seminar was dealing with the contributions each business person makes
to his or her company and is never able to acknowledge that they are worth the credit
given them.
Dr. Fleer opened the session with a 'warm-up' exercise. His first question was, "If not
for me, the world would have missed...?"
I was astounded at many of the answers but one young man said, "If not for me, the
world would have missed absolutely nothing whatsoever!" Both Dr. Fleer and I were
shocked at his response. How could someone believe that their life had meant
nothing whatsoever to anyone else on the planet? I have thought of that scene for
many years and for the life of me, I cannot imagine anyone believing that they meant
nothing to anyone at all! How little they value themselves!
Think of that for a minute and ask yourself that same question.
"If not for me, the world would have missed...?"
I can tell you from my own point of view, the world would have missed three wonderful
children, two of whom grew into equally wonderful adults. Their influence spread
much good among their acquaintances and associates affecting them to this day. The
world would have missed a great friend to many people who needed a shoulder to cry
on, encouraging words when they were down, a friendly smile that picked a lonely
person up, a caring wife and 'in-law'. The world would have missed a person who
continues to learn through the rigors of trials and loss. I am not egotistical enough to
say that someone else does not or could not have fulfilled those things for the people
that touched my life, but I do know that I was there when the need arose.
Think about your loss and how you benefited the person whom you lost with just your
very presence. Think of what that person's life would have been without your being
there. Think of the endless ripples you started on life's still, quiet pond by dropping
your single little pebble into it. Think of that, and marvel at the endless effect of your
being alive on this planet!
That is what God said when he said that He created us in His image. He included our
effect on those around us when he did that. When you are sad about your lost loved
one and thinking that you could have been more, done more, cared more, reflect on
what you DID contribute to that person's life while they were with you. And never,
never forget the fact that you WERE with them while they were here.
There is no substitute for YOU in the life of other people whom you have touched in
your life on this planet. That was and is God's plan for your life. True, we don't know
what the rest of it is, but this we do know: God put us here for His purpose and it
WILL be fulfilled to His glory.
So why should you go on living when your world has been shaken to its foundation?
Why should you even try to pick up the pieces and continue to live even when you
think you can't? The answer is so easy as to be missed in the tears of loss and
heartbreak: Because what you are experiencing is part of God's preparing you for
your grand debut in His kingdom. You will not be ready to begin the greatest living
experience with Him in Heaven until you have been prepared by Him for that entry.
Now, through all of your trials, He is testing you to see if you are strong enough to
sustain your life in ANY trial as His son, Jesus Christ did. Remember, Jesus suffered
not only pain and death at the end of His life, He suffered extreme difficulties in His
ministry for His Father, God, and even betrayal by His most trusted and beloved
disciples. But He knew that all of that was part of His Father's preparation for His
coronation in Heaven.
Why should you go on living? Because that is exactly what God is doing for you.
In all things in life and death, give thanks to God for shaping you for entry into the
kingdom of Heaven where all your trials are over and all sins forgiven forever and
eternity.
Happy is the soul that finds wisdom, and gains understanding. ~ Proverbs 3:13
living when my world has been shattered? Why?
All of these "Why's" are what everyone who has been rocked by a death in their family
asks as if someone will provide them an answer. There seems to be no answer! But
there ARE answers, and they make wonderful sense!
I once wrote and conducted a seminar with the help of my friend and co-instructor, Dr.
Gil Fleer. He just happened to be a Methodist minister and sociology instructor at our
college. Our seminar was dealing with the contributions each business person makes
to his or her company and is never able to acknowledge that they are worth the credit
given them.
Dr. Fleer opened the session with a 'warm-up' exercise. His first question was, "If not
for me, the world would have missed...?"
I was astounded at many of the answers but one young man said, "If not for me, the
world would have missed absolutely nothing whatsoever!" Both Dr. Fleer and I were
shocked at his response. How could someone believe that their life had meant
nothing whatsoever to anyone else on the planet? I have thought of that scene for
many years and for the life of me, I cannot imagine anyone believing that they meant
nothing to anyone at all! How little they value themselves!
Think of that for a minute and ask yourself that same question.
"If not for me, the world would have missed...?"
I can tell you from my own point of view, the world would have missed three wonderful
children, two of whom grew into equally wonderful adults. Their influence spread
much good among their acquaintances and associates affecting them to this day. The
world would have missed a great friend to many people who needed a shoulder to cry
on, encouraging words when they were down, a friendly smile that picked a lonely
person up, a caring wife and 'in-law'. The world would have missed a person who
continues to learn through the rigors of trials and loss. I am not egotistical enough to
say that someone else does not or could not have fulfilled those things for the people
that touched my life, but I do know that I was there when the need arose.
Think about your loss and how you benefited the person whom you lost with just your
very presence. Think of what that person's life would have been without your being
there. Think of the endless ripples you started on life's still, quiet pond by dropping
your single little pebble into it. Think of that, and marvel at the endless effect of your
being alive on this planet!
That is what God said when he said that He created us in His image. He included our
effect on those around us when he did that. When you are sad about your lost loved
one and thinking that you could have been more, done more, cared more, reflect on
what you DID contribute to that person's life while they were with you. And never,
never forget the fact that you WERE with them while they were here.
There is no substitute for YOU in the life of other people whom you have touched in
your life on this planet. That was and is God's plan for your life. True, we don't know
what the rest of it is, but this we do know: God put us here for His purpose and it
WILL be fulfilled to His glory.
So why should you go on living when your world has been shaken to its foundation?
Why should you even try to pick up the pieces and continue to live even when you
think you can't? The answer is so easy as to be missed in the tears of loss and
heartbreak: Because what you are experiencing is part of God's preparing you for
your grand debut in His kingdom. You will not be ready to begin the greatest living
experience with Him in Heaven until you have been prepared by Him for that entry.
Now, through all of your trials, He is testing you to see if you are strong enough to
sustain your life in ANY trial as His son, Jesus Christ did. Remember, Jesus suffered
not only pain and death at the end of His life, He suffered extreme difficulties in His
ministry for His Father, God, and even betrayal by His most trusted and beloved
disciples. But He knew that all of that was part of His Father's preparation for His
coronation in Heaven.
Why should you go on living? Because that is exactly what God is doing for you.
In all things in life and death, give thanks to God for shaping you for entry into the
kingdom of Heaven where all your trials are over and all sins forgiven forever and
eternity.
Happy is the soul that finds wisdom, and gains understanding. ~ Proverbs 3:13
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Life After Loss |