|Wiping the Tears From Our Why's
© Betty Sue Eaton
Bereavement gifts, memorial gifts, sympathy gifts, and grief poems and stories.
is the heart
of our business
|Love one another ~ John 15:12
Pray for one another ~ James 5:15
Encourage one another ~ Hebrews 3:13
Comfort one another ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:18
Life After Loss
|Please be kind enough to read our Copyright Notice prior to
copying any material from this website.
Why am I left alive when my loved one is taken from me? Why should I try to go on living
when my world has been shattered? Why? All of these "Why's" are what everyone who has
been rocked by a death in their family asks as if someone will provide them an answer. There
seems to be no answer! But there ARE answers, and they make wonderful sense!
I once wrote and conducted a seminar, with the help of my friend and co-instructor, Dr. Gil
Fleer. He just happened to be a Methodist minister and sociology instructor at our college. Our
seminar was dealing with the contributions each business person makes to his or her
company and is never able to acknowledge that they are worth the credit given them. Dr. Fleer
opened the session with a 'warm-up' exercise. His first question was, "If not for me, the world
would have missed...?" I was astounded at many of the answers but one young man said, "If
not for me, the world would have missed absolutely nothing whatsoever!" Both Dr. Fleer and I
were shocked at his response. How could someone believe that their life had meant nothing
whatsoever to anyone else on the planet? I have thought of that scene for many years and for
the life of me, I cannot imagine anyone believing that they meant nothing to anyone at all!
How little they value themselves!
Think of that for a minute and ask yourself that same question. "If not for me, the world would
I can tell you from my own point of view, the world would have missed three wonderful
children, two of whom grew into equally wonderful adults. Their influence spread much good
among their acquaintances and associates affecting them to this day. The world would have
missed a great friend to many people who needed a shoulder to cry on, encouraging words
when they were down, a friendly smile that picked a lonely person up, a caring wife and
'in-law'. The world would have missed a person who continues to learn through the rigors of
trials and loss. I am not egotistical enough to say that someone else does not or could not
have fulfilled those things for the people that touched my life, but I do know that I was there
when the need arose.
Think about your loss and how you benefited the person whom you lost with just your very
presence. Think of what that person's life would have been without your being there. Think of
the endless ripples you started on life's still, quiet pond by dropping your single little pebble
into it. Think of that, and marvel at the endless effect of your being alive on this planet!
That is what God said when he said that He created us in His image. He included our effect
on those around us when he did that. When you are sad about your lost loved one and
thinking that you could have been more, done more, cared more, reflect on what you DID
contribute to that person's life while they were with you. And never, never forget the fact that
you WERE with them while they were here.
There is no substitute for YOU in the life of other people whom you have touched in your life
on this planet. That was and is God's plan for your life. True, we don't know what the rest of it
is, but this we do know: God put us here for His purpose and it WILL be fulfilled to His glory.
So why should you go on living when your world has been shaken to its foundation? Why
should you even try to pick up the pieces and continue to live even when you think you can't?
The answer is so easy as to be missed in the tears of loss and heartbreak: Because what you
are experiencing is part of God's preparing you for your grand debut in His kingdom. You will
not be ready to begin the greatest living experience with Him in Heaven until you have been
prepared by Him for that entry.
Now, through all of your trials, He is testing you to see if you are strong enough to sustain
your life in ANY trial as His son, Jesus Christ did. Remember, Jesus suffered not only pain
and death at the end of His life, He suffered extreme difficulties in His ministry for His Father,
God, and even betrayal by His most trusted and beloved disciples. But He knew that all of
that was part of His Father's preparation for His coronation in Heaven.
Why should you go on living? Because, that is exactly what God wants you to do.
In all things in life and death, give thanks to God for shaping you for entry into the kingdom of
Heaven where all your trials are over and all sins forgiven forever and eternity.
Happy is the soul that finds wisdom, and gains understanding.
~ Proverbs 3:13