| There IS Life After Loss © Betty Sue Eaton |
Sometimes after we have experienced a tragic loss, it seems as though our lives are
forever shattered and there is no path to continue on. We go from an everyday life
of habit and relative happiness to a totally changed world where nothing is familiar
and certainly, we have to discard the old habits and start from scratch. The fabric of
our existence has been torn apart; we are left with nothing but unending sadness
and total shock!
One such tragedy happened to a friend of mine. One day, she was happily married,
doing all the things that two happy people do, making plans for the future after
retirement. But that was still years away since they were only in their late 40's and
early 50's. Then the unthinkable happened. Jim dropped dead at work! That day
began a spiraling down for Virginia, and she confided in me and other women
supporting her through her grief that she just wanted to be with Jim. There was a
better than even chance that she would be soon because she had already
undergone a double heart by-pass surgery but continued to have life-threatening
problems.
We formed a grief counseling and recovery group based on the words found in the
Bible and at each meeting dedicated our time to studying what God had to say
about death and life after death - ours AND our loved ones. What we found there
surprised us. We learned that although our Savior is a loving Father, He does allow
us to be brought to our knees by circumstance, and when we are there on our
knees, we are in the perfect position to go to Him for comfort and solace. We had to
learn to give all the grief and heartbreak to Him as He is the Master of all things -
even death and grief.
None of the five of us who were regulars in the group knew just what would come
out of our sessions, but we knew we were there for each other. Even though my
own tragedies of family member' deaths occurred years before that time, I was able
to face the unresolved grief that I held in my heart of hearts. We wept openly,
unashamedly, and welcomed the loving comfort of our fellow mourners. In the end,
we all grew in our Christian devotion more than any of us thought would happen.
We still keep in frequent touch with one another and last night, I called Virginia. She
was laughing and said she would have to call back as she had a roomful of ladies
and was demonstrating a salad making machine! Now that is not much to get
excited about, but for me, it was like her declaration of independence! She has
moved on since Jim's death; she is living again; and even though she still has a very
bad heart, she is making plans for tomorrow. She has turned it all over to the Lord
whom she loves with every fiber in her being. If anyone ever was, she is a living
example of the fact that there IS life after loss, and a happy one to boot!
forever shattered and there is no path to continue on. We go from an everyday life
of habit and relative happiness to a totally changed world where nothing is familiar
and certainly, we have to discard the old habits and start from scratch. The fabric of
our existence has been torn apart; we are left with nothing but unending sadness
and total shock!
One such tragedy happened to a friend of mine. One day, she was happily married,
doing all the things that two happy people do, making plans for the future after
retirement. But that was still years away since they were only in their late 40's and
early 50's. Then the unthinkable happened. Jim dropped dead at work! That day
began a spiraling down for Virginia, and she confided in me and other women
supporting her through her grief that she just wanted to be with Jim. There was a
better than even chance that she would be soon because she had already
undergone a double heart by-pass surgery but continued to have life-threatening
problems.
We formed a grief counseling and recovery group based on the words found in the
Bible and at each meeting dedicated our time to studying what God had to say
about death and life after death - ours AND our loved ones. What we found there
surprised us. We learned that although our Savior is a loving Father, He does allow
us to be brought to our knees by circumstance, and when we are there on our
knees, we are in the perfect position to go to Him for comfort and solace. We had to
learn to give all the grief and heartbreak to Him as He is the Master of all things -
even death and grief.
None of the five of us who were regulars in the group knew just what would come
out of our sessions, but we knew we were there for each other. Even though my
own tragedies of family member' deaths occurred years before that time, I was able
to face the unresolved grief that I held in my heart of hearts. We wept openly,
unashamedly, and welcomed the loving comfort of our fellow mourners. In the end,
we all grew in our Christian devotion more than any of us thought would happen.
We still keep in frequent touch with one another and last night, I called Virginia. She
was laughing and said she would have to call back as she had a roomful of ladies
and was demonstrating a salad making machine! Now that is not much to get
excited about, but for me, it was like her declaration of independence! She has
moved on since Jim's death; she is living again; and even though she still has a very
bad heart, she is making plans for tomorrow. She has turned it all over to the Lord
whom she loves with every fiber in her being. If anyone ever was, she is a living
example of the fact that there IS life after loss, and a happy one to boot!
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Life After Loss |