I admire people who can think outside of the box. Abstract thinking gives me a
headache. I'm more of a black and white, inside the box thinker. If I can visualize it, I
can understand it. Well, at least most things, that is. When I look at a map and it says
the distance from point A to point B is ten miles, I can grasp that. Ten miles is about
twelve minutes on the freeway, or thirty minutes in downtown rush hour traffic. That's
easy. Miles, feet, inches, hours and minutes are all concepts I can understand.
Recently, I decided to try my hand at bead work. As a novice, I noticed all the bead
catalogs listed each bead in metric measurements. Whoa. The catalog showed big
pictures so I could really see the colors and styles I liked, but I didn't have a clue how
big or small the beads were. My mind is permanently set in feet and inches. This
bead is 1.8mm and that bead is 3.4mm and I don't have one clue how big a millimeter
is. It made my brain hurt, which is a side effect of trying to comprehend any principle,
abstract or not, that my brain doesn't understand.
This can't be that difficult, I thought. You can find anything you could possibly want to
know about anything on the Internet, so I hit the search engines. How big is a
millimeter? Now, I'm looking for a simple statement that says, "A millimeter is __of an
inch." Is that too much to ask? After a very long search process, I found charts that
gave me the metric equivalent of all of my standard measures: 1/16 of an inch equals
1.6mm, and 1/8 of an inch equals 3.2mm and so forth. But in the final analysis, I
realized I never found anything that described how big ONE millimeter is.
One millimeter. Surely there's a millimeter equivalent? Some number like .01234 of
an inch or something? I wanted a pat answer to my simple question; a number that I
could use to convert millimeters to fractions of an inch. Where is that book, "All You
Ever Wanted to Know About Millimeters But Were Afraid to Ask?" I couldn't even find
a "Millimeters for Dummies". All I could find were charts.
Finally, I realized I may never find that magic number. Maybe it doesn't really exist.
Maybe it does. Maybe it's so complex it can't be written. Maybe it's kin to Pi or
something. But I came to the realization that I had all the information I really needed,
to do what I needed to do. The beads I wanted were between 1/16" and 3/32" which
meant I could buy any bead in the catalog between 1.6mm and 2.4mm. That put it
inside my mental "box" so I could work with it.
So what does all this have to do with grief? Lots. When we are grieving, our biggest
questions are often why? and why now? We want answers we can understand.
Answers we can live with. We want something that will "fit in the box" so we can
understand and accept it.
We desperately want our finite minds to be able to completely understand the mind of
an infinite God. We want our brain to be able to wholly understand His wisdom and
all He knows, so that somehow, we can find comfort for our loss.
I have learned that when I ask God a question, sometimes it seems there is no
answer. That's usually because even though I asked a simple question, the answer is
so complex that my mind can't comprehend His answer. His thoughts are not our
thoughts and His ways are not our ways. He is, after all, God. There are some things
God can't explain to us because our minds just can not grasp it. We would have to be
gods ourselves to understand.
We asked why and why now? Maybe the answer is just too complex for us to
understand. Sometimes, God gives us a metric answer to an "inches" question when
we want an exact, absolute, fit-it-in-the-box answer. Maybe His answer is like the
millimeter equivalent and it just won't fit in our box.
Yet, He has given us all the information we need, to do all the things we really need
to do. Seek Him, trust Him, and allow Him into our hearts to lead and guide us to that
place where true healing can begin. Remain strong in our faith. Encourage one
another. Pray. Listen for His still small voice. Those are the things we can
comprehend.
The time will come when we stand in His presence in that most Glorious place, that
suddenly every question ever left unanswered will be fully understood. Every tear
we've ever shed will be instantly forgotten. Joy shall fill every corner of our heart ~
every millimeter!
"You may have sorrow now, but I will see you again
and your hearts will rejoice and be full of joy.
Then, no one can ever take your joy from you."
John 16:22 (paraphrased)
May God truly bless you and bring you Peace. ~ Ferna
headache. I'm more of a black and white, inside the box thinker. If I can visualize it, I
can understand it. Well, at least most things, that is. When I look at a map and it says
the distance from point A to point B is ten miles, I can grasp that. Ten miles is about
twelve minutes on the freeway, or thirty minutes in downtown rush hour traffic. That's
easy. Miles, feet, inches, hours and minutes are all concepts I can understand.
Recently, I decided to try my hand at bead work. As a novice, I noticed all the bead
catalogs listed each bead in metric measurements. Whoa. The catalog showed big
pictures so I could really see the colors and styles I liked, but I didn't have a clue how
big or small the beads were. My mind is permanently set in feet and inches. This
bead is 1.8mm and that bead is 3.4mm and I don't have one clue how big a millimeter
is. It made my brain hurt, which is a side effect of trying to comprehend any principle,
abstract or not, that my brain doesn't understand.
This can't be that difficult, I thought. You can find anything you could possibly want to
know about anything on the Internet, so I hit the search engines. How big is a
millimeter? Now, I'm looking for a simple statement that says, "A millimeter is __of an
inch." Is that too much to ask? After a very long search process, I found charts that
gave me the metric equivalent of all of my standard measures: 1/16 of an inch equals
1.6mm, and 1/8 of an inch equals 3.2mm and so forth. But in the final analysis, I
realized I never found anything that described how big ONE millimeter is.
One millimeter. Surely there's a millimeter equivalent? Some number like .01234 of
an inch or something? I wanted a pat answer to my simple question; a number that I
could use to convert millimeters to fractions of an inch. Where is that book, "All You
Ever Wanted to Know About Millimeters But Were Afraid to Ask?" I couldn't even find
a "Millimeters for Dummies". All I could find were charts.
Finally, I realized I may never find that magic number. Maybe it doesn't really exist.
Maybe it does. Maybe it's so complex it can't be written. Maybe it's kin to Pi or
something. But I came to the realization that I had all the information I really needed,
to do what I needed to do. The beads I wanted were between 1/16" and 3/32" which
meant I could buy any bead in the catalog between 1.6mm and 2.4mm. That put it
inside my mental "box" so I could work with it.
So what does all this have to do with grief? Lots. When we are grieving, our biggest
questions are often why? and why now? We want answers we can understand.
Answers we can live with. We want something that will "fit in the box" so we can
understand and accept it.
We desperately want our finite minds to be able to completely understand the mind of
an infinite God. We want our brain to be able to wholly understand His wisdom and
all He knows, so that somehow, we can find comfort for our loss.
I have learned that when I ask God a question, sometimes it seems there is no
answer. That's usually because even though I asked a simple question, the answer is
so complex that my mind can't comprehend His answer. His thoughts are not our
thoughts and His ways are not our ways. He is, after all, God. There are some things
God can't explain to us because our minds just can not grasp it. We would have to be
gods ourselves to understand.
We asked why and why now? Maybe the answer is just too complex for us to
understand. Sometimes, God gives us a metric answer to an "inches" question when
we want an exact, absolute, fit-it-in-the-box answer. Maybe His answer is like the
millimeter equivalent and it just won't fit in our box.
Yet, He has given us all the information we need, to do all the things we really need
to do. Seek Him, trust Him, and allow Him into our hearts to lead and guide us to that
place where true healing can begin. Remain strong in our faith. Encourage one
another. Pray. Listen for His still small voice. Those are the things we can
comprehend.
The time will come when we stand in His presence in that most Glorious place, that
suddenly every question ever left unanswered will be fully understood. Every tear
we've ever shed will be instantly forgotten. Joy shall fill every corner of our heart ~
every millimeter!
"You may have sorrow now, but I will see you again
and your hearts will rejoice and be full of joy.
Then, no one can ever take your joy from you."
John 16:22 (paraphrased)
May God truly bless you and bring you Peace. ~ Ferna
| How Big is a Millimeter? © Ferna Lary Mills |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Life After Loss |