I remember back in the days when time was a much simpler concept. We didn't run
our clocks back and forth when I was a kid and I must say that in my ignorance, I
really don't completely understand why we do this now. All I do know is the little ditty
that says "Spring Forward ~ Fall Back". It reminds me which direction to run my
clock, depending on the season. This helps me to keep up with everyone else so I'm
not an hour late or an hour early.
For the bereaved, the whole concept of "time" takes on a new meaning. What used
to seem like moments can now seem like a lifetime. What used to seem like forever
may feel like no time at all. Even though every day has the same twenty-four hours
in it, some days are so long it's excruciating, while others are so short we feel
slighted. When we're grieving, all the laws of time seem to change.
Looking back, I can't believe my mother has been gone for eight years. In one
aspect, it seems as if she has been gone only a short while. In other ways, it seems
as if she's been gone forever. It seemed to me that the day before her funeral was a
gazillion hours long. Yet the day of her funeral passed by in a nanosecond, as I was
lost in a fog all day. Different days passed at different rates of time. I would be hard
pressed to absolutely guarantee that every day had the same exact number of
minutes in it, because each one seemed to be so different. Not only were the days
different, but the nights were twice as long ~ all of them.
Now, to be honest, I have to admit that I've finally learned the secret about how to
tell time. You see, it totally depends on which direction you're looking. If you're
grieving and looking back at what once was, time is extremely diminished. But, if
you're looking forward, towards an unknown period of time without that loved one,
time can be extremely distorted in the opposite direction. I call it the "direction" factor.
Looking backwards, you know how many years you spent with your loved one.
Whether they died at a young or old age, it still seems like such a short period of
time. It's short because we weren't done with them yet. We still had hopes, plans
and dreams of many more laughs, smiles, hugs, and life-things to share. It wasn't
nearly long enough, so that period of time seems terribly short. Maybe in some
cases it was cut short, which makes us feel even more slighted. But everyone will
feel slighted, regardless of how many or how few years we spent with our loved one.
Looking ahead in time, the number of our days left on this earth without our loved
one is unknown. So it seems incredibly long. Sometimes, just one day without that
loved one seems too long, but then adding one day to the next, it seems almost
unbearable.
So, knowing now the factors that determine real time, how do we function now that
our loved one is no longer with us? We remember that same little ditty: "Spring
Forward ~ Fall Back". I's really all in how you look at it.
If you can understand and believe in your heart that you will be reunited with your
loved one in Heaven, then you can understand that this period of absence is only
temporary. God promised. He promised that this is NOT the end. He guarantees us
that life is eternal. So "spring forward" and live each day to the fullest, knowing your
steps upon this sod are only temporary, but your LIFE is eternal and you will have a
great reunion with your loved one, at a point of God's own perfect timing.
"Fall back" on your faith to keep you strong. Trust that God's timing is perfect and
that He does still have a plan for you and a purpose for your still being here. The
proof of this is that you ARE still here.
Sure, some days will still be much longer than others. But on those terribly long
days or nights, spend some of that extra time with the Lord, talking to Him in prayer
and allowing Him to refresh your spirit and be your strength. There will come a point
when you will look back and realize that even though it seemed forever, even this
time was so very short.
While man measures moments, God measures eternity.
While man measures events, God measures hearts.
On the Spring weekend when we run our clocks ahead an hour we will lose an hour
for now, but we will get it back eventually... Just like our loved one! Although they
are lost from us now, we do get them back ~ in God's time. Thank you, Jesus.
our clocks back and forth when I was a kid and I must say that in my ignorance, I
really don't completely understand why we do this now. All I do know is the little ditty
that says "Spring Forward ~ Fall Back". It reminds me which direction to run my
clock, depending on the season. This helps me to keep up with everyone else so I'm
not an hour late or an hour early.
For the bereaved, the whole concept of "time" takes on a new meaning. What used
to seem like moments can now seem like a lifetime. What used to seem like forever
may feel like no time at all. Even though every day has the same twenty-four hours
in it, some days are so long it's excruciating, while others are so short we feel
slighted. When we're grieving, all the laws of time seem to change.
Looking back, I can't believe my mother has been gone for eight years. In one
aspect, it seems as if she has been gone only a short while. In other ways, it seems
as if she's been gone forever. It seemed to me that the day before her funeral was a
gazillion hours long. Yet the day of her funeral passed by in a nanosecond, as I was
lost in a fog all day. Different days passed at different rates of time. I would be hard
pressed to absolutely guarantee that every day had the same exact number of
minutes in it, because each one seemed to be so different. Not only were the days
different, but the nights were twice as long ~ all of them.
Now, to be honest, I have to admit that I've finally learned the secret about how to
tell time. You see, it totally depends on which direction you're looking. If you're
grieving and looking back at what once was, time is extremely diminished. But, if
you're looking forward, towards an unknown period of time without that loved one,
time can be extremely distorted in the opposite direction. I call it the "direction" factor.
Looking backwards, you know how many years you spent with your loved one.
Whether they died at a young or old age, it still seems like such a short period of
time. It's short because we weren't done with them yet. We still had hopes, plans
and dreams of many more laughs, smiles, hugs, and life-things to share. It wasn't
nearly long enough, so that period of time seems terribly short. Maybe in some
cases it was cut short, which makes us feel even more slighted. But everyone will
feel slighted, regardless of how many or how few years we spent with our loved one.
Looking ahead in time, the number of our days left on this earth without our loved
one is unknown. So it seems incredibly long. Sometimes, just one day without that
loved one seems too long, but then adding one day to the next, it seems almost
unbearable.
So, knowing now the factors that determine real time, how do we function now that
our loved one is no longer with us? We remember that same little ditty: "Spring
Forward ~ Fall Back". I's really all in how you look at it.
If you can understand and believe in your heart that you will be reunited with your
loved one in Heaven, then you can understand that this period of absence is only
temporary. God promised. He promised that this is NOT the end. He guarantees us
that life is eternal. So "spring forward" and live each day to the fullest, knowing your
steps upon this sod are only temporary, but your LIFE is eternal and you will have a
great reunion with your loved one, at a point of God's own perfect timing.
"Fall back" on your faith to keep you strong. Trust that God's timing is perfect and
that He does still have a plan for you and a purpose for your still being here. The
proof of this is that you ARE still here.
Sure, some days will still be much longer than others. But on those terribly long
days or nights, spend some of that extra time with the Lord, talking to Him in prayer
and allowing Him to refresh your spirit and be your strength. There will come a point
when you will look back and realize that even though it seemed forever, even this
time was so very short.
While man measures moments, God measures eternity.
While man measures events, God measures hearts.
On the Spring weekend when we run our clocks ahead an hour we will lose an hour
for now, but we will get it back eventually... Just like our loved one! Although they
are lost from us now, we do get them back ~ in God's time. Thank you, Jesus.
| "Spring Forward ~ Fall Back" Good Advice for the Grieving © Ferna Lary Mills |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Life After Loss |
