According to Gods holy word, He has dominion over all things in heaven and earth –
even broken hearts! I can attest to that fact, including the broken heart. And miracles:
Every day He sends us a miracle but we dont always recognize the gift for what it is.
Let me explain.
At age eleven, my youngest child, my baby was struck and killed by a car driven by a
seventeen-year old boy hurrying to his football Homecoming banquet. It was dusk and
all he saw was an animal darting into his path; which he dodged to avoid and struck my
daughter standing on the road shoulder waiting for him to pass. The animal was her
best friend's dog running across to greet the two girls coming home after an hour of
skating on the local tennis court. Paula died instantly of a broken neck. I was
devastated and my grief totally consumed me at that moment and in the days that
followed.
I must admit that my grief was totally selfish as well as I could not function either as a
wife to my husband or as a mother to my other two teenage children. My physical body
began a massive rebellion. At first, it began rejecting food. I could not keep food down
and began losing weight alarmingly. Then my equilibrium left me holding on the walls to
go from room to room, even to get out of bed. My doctor prescribed tranquilizers hoping
that they would allow my body to heal itself, but to no avail. My downward spiral
continued as a lymph gland in my jaw began swelling. After weeks of agony from
grieving and confusion wracking my body, I came to the point that the swollen gland
was strangling me. I could not sleep, eat, keep my house, or even attend to my family's
everyday needs of me as wife and mother.
All through the night I tossed and cried exhorting God to take the pain away from my
heart and body, but it seemed He was not listening to me. One morning I was
desperate and swore at Him telling Him to either let me die or get me out of the bed and
let me live as I should for my family! That morning, the doctor was going to try lancing
the swollen gland in my neck to relieve the choking and pain. I felt that I could not go on
another day, but after two hours, I fell into an exhausted sleep for the first time in what
seemed like an eternity. When I awoke, my breathing was normal; the swelling in my
throat was going away, and it became clear to me that something had happened during
that deep sleep I had just experienced.
It became clear to me that I could not just will myself to die and that I would not have to
undergo surgery for the swollen gland. It also became very clear to me that God had
indeed heard my pleading and had given me a miracle of recovery. I could not believe
that in only two short hours, my health was being restored as I had fervently prayed.
From that day on, I vowed to claim my miracle and never go back to the feeling of
defeat my child's death had brought to me. My recovery was steady and before a month
had passed, I had gone back to my job as a Kelly Girl and was looking forward to going
to work again. It was like a breath of fresh spring air after being closed in a room full of
darkness for too long.
I will not tell you that from that day forward, I never felt the wrenching grief of losing a
child, or that everything went smoothly in my family, for it didn't. But I will tell you that
my attitude changed that morning to one of gratefulness for God's mercy, first that He
took my Paula home without letting her suffer long pain, and second, that He heard the
ranting of a distraught mother who was devastated and confused, but struggling to
regain some semblance of sanity. As a devout Christian, I can attest to the fact that my
recovery was Divine, not medical and that God indeed heard my pleadings and gave
me a miracle.
Everyday, we are given miracles, but everyday, we also ignore them though not
intentionally. We just do not recognize them. Miracles do not necessarily come with
blinding flashes of lightning or earth-shaking tremors. They come as small urgings from
our subconscious minds; as a fleeting thought that comes and goes as a "what if" that
we just let go by without acting on it. If we believe that Christ died for us and that He
dwells within us, why can we not believe that these small urgings or thoughts are
placed by Him as directives for us to act upon? God made us in His likeness for His
purpose. Why then can we not believe that He talks to us through our hearts and minds
unbidden, like a Father advising His child?
I DO believe that is true and that when He pricks my conscience or sends me a little
nagging voice to act or receive, I will try with all my might to heed His wisdom and
receive the miracle He is trying to give to me. And even though we all will grieve a loved
one who is called home to heaven, none of us have to grieve alone. God is there
through His son, Jesus Christ, for us all who believe in Him. Trust in that! He promised!
May the peace and grace of our Lord and Savior be with you. ~ Betty
even broken hearts! I can attest to that fact, including the broken heart. And miracles:
Every day He sends us a miracle but we dont always recognize the gift for what it is.
Let me explain.
At age eleven, my youngest child, my baby was struck and killed by a car driven by a
seventeen-year old boy hurrying to his football Homecoming banquet. It was dusk and
all he saw was an animal darting into his path; which he dodged to avoid and struck my
daughter standing on the road shoulder waiting for him to pass. The animal was her
best friend's dog running across to greet the two girls coming home after an hour of
skating on the local tennis court. Paula died instantly of a broken neck. I was
devastated and my grief totally consumed me at that moment and in the days that
followed.
I must admit that my grief was totally selfish as well as I could not function either as a
wife to my husband or as a mother to my other two teenage children. My physical body
began a massive rebellion. At first, it began rejecting food. I could not keep food down
and began losing weight alarmingly. Then my equilibrium left me holding on the walls to
go from room to room, even to get out of bed. My doctor prescribed tranquilizers hoping
that they would allow my body to heal itself, but to no avail. My downward spiral
continued as a lymph gland in my jaw began swelling. After weeks of agony from
grieving and confusion wracking my body, I came to the point that the swollen gland
was strangling me. I could not sleep, eat, keep my house, or even attend to my family's
everyday needs of me as wife and mother.
All through the night I tossed and cried exhorting God to take the pain away from my
heart and body, but it seemed He was not listening to me. One morning I was
desperate and swore at Him telling Him to either let me die or get me out of the bed and
let me live as I should for my family! That morning, the doctor was going to try lancing
the swollen gland in my neck to relieve the choking and pain. I felt that I could not go on
another day, but after two hours, I fell into an exhausted sleep for the first time in what
seemed like an eternity. When I awoke, my breathing was normal; the swelling in my
throat was going away, and it became clear to me that something had happened during
that deep sleep I had just experienced.
It became clear to me that I could not just will myself to die and that I would not have to
undergo surgery for the swollen gland. It also became very clear to me that God had
indeed heard my pleading and had given me a miracle of recovery. I could not believe
that in only two short hours, my health was being restored as I had fervently prayed.
From that day on, I vowed to claim my miracle and never go back to the feeling of
defeat my child's death had brought to me. My recovery was steady and before a month
had passed, I had gone back to my job as a Kelly Girl and was looking forward to going
to work again. It was like a breath of fresh spring air after being closed in a room full of
darkness for too long.
I will not tell you that from that day forward, I never felt the wrenching grief of losing a
child, or that everything went smoothly in my family, for it didn't. But I will tell you that
my attitude changed that morning to one of gratefulness for God's mercy, first that He
took my Paula home without letting her suffer long pain, and second, that He heard the
ranting of a distraught mother who was devastated and confused, but struggling to
regain some semblance of sanity. As a devout Christian, I can attest to the fact that my
recovery was Divine, not medical and that God indeed heard my pleadings and gave
me a miracle.
Everyday, we are given miracles, but everyday, we also ignore them though not
intentionally. We just do not recognize them. Miracles do not necessarily come with
blinding flashes of lightning or earth-shaking tremors. They come as small urgings from
our subconscious minds; as a fleeting thought that comes and goes as a "what if" that
we just let go by without acting on it. If we believe that Christ died for us and that He
dwells within us, why can we not believe that these small urgings or thoughts are
placed by Him as directives for us to act upon? God made us in His likeness for His
purpose. Why then can we not believe that He talks to us through our hearts and minds
unbidden, like a Father advising His child?
I DO believe that is true and that when He pricks my conscience or sends me a little
nagging voice to act or receive, I will try with all my might to heed His wisdom and
receive the miracle He is trying to give to me. And even though we all will grieve a loved
one who is called home to heaven, none of us have to grieve alone. God is there
through His son, Jesus Christ, for us all who believe in Him. Trust in that! He promised!
May the peace and grace of our Lord and Savior be with you. ~ Betty
| Claiming Our Miracles © Betty Sue Eaton |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Life After Loss |