| Finding Peace While Grieving © Ferna Lary Mills |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Many years ago I made a special plaque for my mom that stated: "The safest place a child
can be is in the arms of Memaw." From my children's eyes, no harm could ever come to
them in Memaw's care. Her home was a "safe place" filled with love, cookies, and warm,
fuzzy moments. Even as they matured into their teens and their world seemed to go crazy
around them, Memaw was their refuge. When Mom was too strict, or peer pressure was
too tough, or times just too confusing, Memaw was their strength. I had to agree, even
though she was my Mom and not my Memaw. There was just something about her that
radiated love, acceptance, and peace. Throughout my own life, Mom was my refuge in
both good times and bad.
During my toughest times, oh, how often I longed for the days of my youth when I could
curl up in Mother's lap and she would gently rock me, singing softly those childhood songs
that soothed my spirit. Although I outgrew her lap many years ago, both mentally and
physically, I can still remember that peaceful feeling. I can still close my eyes and hear her
singing, smell her perfume, feel her soft skin and remember the peace I felt in that most
safe of all places.
Don't we all long for that feeling of sweet, comforting peace, especially now in our grief?
Don't we crave that "someone" who can wrap their arms around us and take all our worries
away? I know I certainly have. Grief is tough. I lost both of my parents within ten months of
each other. Suddenly, I discovered I was facing the toughest days of my life, without the
most important people of my life to show me how to cope or to comfort me in my pain.
Memaw is no longer here to speak her words of encouragement; she can no longer
provide a lap for her grandchildren. So, now where is our place of refuge?
Whether you've lost a parent, a spouse, a child, a friend, or a sibling, grief hurts. Our heart
aches from the loss of one we love ... one plucked from our life so quickly while we were
yet so unprepared for their departure. Where is our safe harbor from this pain and
anguish? When the mountains of despair fall down around us, where is our hiding place?
My favorite scripture has always been: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present
help in trouble." ~ Psalm 46:1 (KJV). There are a lot of facts to be gained from this one
simple verse.
First, and foremost, God is not distant. He is ALWAYS with us. He is NOW, and not just
some object mentioned in scriptures that was present and active only in historical events.
He is the same God today as He was when He first stood on the edges of the universe
and imagined you ~ and me.
God is personal. He's available to anyone who seeks Him, and He is faithful. His help is
always available! No appointment is ever required! You don't have to be a member of a
certain religion, or belong to a specific church. You only have to believe in Him.
But how can He be our refuge? Our feet are planted firmly on terra firma. How can we hide
in God? He is not a solid, physical entity that we can see, touch and feel with our hands.
He doesn't have a lap we can climb onto while he gently rocks us and soothes our brow.
He isn't a physical being sitting in a physical rocking chair somewhere. How does one
crawl up into the lap of God?
That's the easy part. To climb into His lap, one must first have the desire to seek Him.
Since He is never more than a breath away, it doesn't take much seeking to find Him. One
of His many promises is that if we seek, we shall find, and He waits for us to seek Him to
let himself be known to us.
Spend a lot of time in conversation with Him. Prayer is only a conversation with God. It's
like talking to a best friend, telling Him the desires of your heart. Express your fears, your
sorrows and your grief. Tell him what's on your heart just as you would a very close friend.
Although He knows your every need and every thought before you speak, He also longs to
have this conversation with you; this close companionship. He wants to have a very
personal relationship with you. Even though you can't see or touch him physically, you will
feel him with your heart and within your spirit, and in the depths of your soul.
Once you've established this personal relationship with Him and have bared to Him the
depths of your heart and soul, there's one more step. This is the hardest one of all, but not
impossible: Trust Him.
Allow Him to take your hurts, sorrow and fears, and trust Him to be your strength and your
refuge. Trust in his omnipotence. Think back to when you crawled up into your parent's
lap. Remember the safety you felt there? Well, God, the Father, is your eternal parent and
His lap is eternal! He has the resources of the entire universe at His disposal.
He has that "peace that surpasses all human understanding" and when He holds you in
the palm of His hands (or in His lap), there is a comfort there that is indescribable. "Peace
that surpasses all human understanding" is a peace that is also far beyond description
with mere words, and it can be found only in the lap of God. You just have to go there and
try it for yourself. It's a short journey that simply begins with a prayer:
Lord, I lean on your promise to be ever present, especially now during this time of sorrow
in my life. Wrap your loving arms around me. Be my strength. Let me take refuge in
You. Cover me in your mercy and grant me Peace.
May you find that place of refuge and may God truly bless you and bring you His peace.
can be is in the arms of Memaw." From my children's eyes, no harm could ever come to
them in Memaw's care. Her home was a "safe place" filled with love, cookies, and warm,
fuzzy moments. Even as they matured into their teens and their world seemed to go crazy
around them, Memaw was their refuge. When Mom was too strict, or peer pressure was
too tough, or times just too confusing, Memaw was their strength. I had to agree, even
though she was my Mom and not my Memaw. There was just something about her that
radiated love, acceptance, and peace. Throughout my own life, Mom was my refuge in
both good times and bad.
During my toughest times, oh, how often I longed for the days of my youth when I could
curl up in Mother's lap and she would gently rock me, singing softly those childhood songs
that soothed my spirit. Although I outgrew her lap many years ago, both mentally and
physically, I can still remember that peaceful feeling. I can still close my eyes and hear her
singing, smell her perfume, feel her soft skin and remember the peace I felt in that most
safe of all places.
Don't we all long for that feeling of sweet, comforting peace, especially now in our grief?
Don't we crave that "someone" who can wrap their arms around us and take all our worries
away? I know I certainly have. Grief is tough. I lost both of my parents within ten months of
each other. Suddenly, I discovered I was facing the toughest days of my life, without the
most important people of my life to show me how to cope or to comfort me in my pain.
Memaw is no longer here to speak her words of encouragement; she can no longer
provide a lap for her grandchildren. So, now where is our place of refuge?
Whether you've lost a parent, a spouse, a child, a friend, or a sibling, grief hurts. Our heart
aches from the loss of one we love ... one plucked from our life so quickly while we were
yet so unprepared for their departure. Where is our safe harbor from this pain and
anguish? When the mountains of despair fall down around us, where is our hiding place?
My favorite scripture has always been: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present
help in trouble." ~ Psalm 46:1 (KJV). There are a lot of facts to be gained from this one
simple verse.
First, and foremost, God is not distant. He is ALWAYS with us. He is NOW, and not just
some object mentioned in scriptures that was present and active only in historical events.
He is the same God today as He was when He first stood on the edges of the universe
and imagined you ~ and me.
God is personal. He's available to anyone who seeks Him, and He is faithful. His help is
always available! No appointment is ever required! You don't have to be a member of a
certain religion, or belong to a specific church. You only have to believe in Him.
But how can He be our refuge? Our feet are planted firmly on terra firma. How can we hide
in God? He is not a solid, physical entity that we can see, touch and feel with our hands.
He doesn't have a lap we can climb onto while he gently rocks us and soothes our brow.
He isn't a physical being sitting in a physical rocking chair somewhere. How does one
crawl up into the lap of God?
That's the easy part. To climb into His lap, one must first have the desire to seek Him.
Since He is never more than a breath away, it doesn't take much seeking to find Him. One
of His many promises is that if we seek, we shall find, and He waits for us to seek Him to
let himself be known to us.
Spend a lot of time in conversation with Him. Prayer is only a conversation with God. It's
like talking to a best friend, telling Him the desires of your heart. Express your fears, your
sorrows and your grief. Tell him what's on your heart just as you would a very close friend.
Although He knows your every need and every thought before you speak, He also longs to
have this conversation with you; this close companionship. He wants to have a very
personal relationship with you. Even though you can't see or touch him physically, you will
feel him with your heart and within your spirit, and in the depths of your soul.
Once you've established this personal relationship with Him and have bared to Him the
depths of your heart and soul, there's one more step. This is the hardest one of all, but not
impossible: Trust Him.
Allow Him to take your hurts, sorrow and fears, and trust Him to be your strength and your
refuge. Trust in his omnipotence. Think back to when you crawled up into your parent's
lap. Remember the safety you felt there? Well, God, the Father, is your eternal parent and
His lap is eternal! He has the resources of the entire universe at His disposal.
He has that "peace that surpasses all human understanding" and when He holds you in
the palm of His hands (or in His lap), there is a comfort there that is indescribable. "Peace
that surpasses all human understanding" is a peace that is also far beyond description
with mere words, and it can be found only in the lap of God. You just have to go there and
try it for yourself. It's a short journey that simply begins with a prayer:
Lord, I lean on your promise to be ever present, especially now during this time of sorrow
in my life. Wrap your loving arms around me. Be my strength. Let me take refuge in
You. Cover me in your mercy and grant me Peace.
May you find that place of refuge and may God truly bless you and bring you His peace.
Life After Loss |