| The Right Words © Ferna Lary Mills |
The most common request I receive in this ministry to the bereaved is for words. A heart
is broken, a soul is shattered, and a life is turned upside down. The ache is too much to
bear and the grieving heart cries out for those "magic words" that will "make me feel
better" or "make me feel like I can still go on" or "give me hope for the future without my
loved one".
Words are what is needed most, for that's the simplest form of communication. We hurt.
We need soothed and comforted. We need words of encouragement. Words that say
someone understands and cares. Words that will help us to heal.
As I've spent much time thinking about these "words", I've reached this conclusion: No
words I can utter will heal your aching heart.
Before you stop reading, please let me explain. I can utter words that say I understand
and that maybe I've been in similar shoes. My words may offer you encouragement and
hope based on faith and God's promises that we will see our loved ones again. My
words may give you the courage to continue and maybe they can be that small drink of
water you need to get a full night's sleep for a change. But that's all my words can do.
They cannot heal. They can only encourage.
But words ARE what is needed to start the healing process, and the RIGHT words CAN
heal your heart from the inside out, which is the only healing that will help get you
through the grief. The words you need, however, are not mine. They are the words in
your very own mouth.
If you want true healing to begin, so the ache will become tolerable and the grief
bearable, so you will truly begin to feel as if life does go on and you can truly get
through this, and for the strength to move on with your life, YOU need to utter the only
words than can heal: Help me.
Those two words, to the right ears, are all you need to start the healing process. The
right ears belong to Jesus.
I know this is true because I have been there. Friends could encourage me, comfort me,
and be a shoulder to lean on. But they couldn't heal my heart from the depths of grief
and despair. Until I looked up and began to reach out to the only one who can heal from
the inside out, I wallowed in my pain and grief. My prayer to him (my words) was
something similar to this:
Lord, Lord, hear my prayers. Be with me and hold me gently in my grief. Give me the
strength to withstand this pain. Comfort me in my sorrow and grant me your Peace that
surpasses all human understanding. Lift me up and walk with me every step I take,
leading and guiding me in this new life without my loved one. I need you Lord, and put
my trust and faith in you. I cannot bear this alone and I know you are with me, as you
promised never to leave me. I stand on your promises, Lord. Help me. I cannot do this
on my own.
Yes, I can encourage you, but I cannot heal your heart. I encourage you to pray. Use
your words to the One who CAN bear your pain and heal your heart. Allow Him to start
the healing process within you. Allow Him to help you get through the difficult days
ahead. Grief is the hardest thing you will ever encounter in this life, but you don't have to
go through it alone. I know. I couldn't have done it without Him.
Allow the words at Rainbow Faith to encourage you and visit back often as we do
update our site regularly. Read many of the encouraging poems and stories that some of
our other readers have submitted, for they have walked in similar shoes as yours as
well. But for true healing, spend some quiet time alone with our Lord God. Let Him know
your innermost thoughts. Let Him help you to heal and find that Peace in your life.
He will heal your heart in ways that only He can, from the inside out. All you have to do
is seek Him and ask.
Joy will come again to you. He promises. ~ Ferna
is broken, a soul is shattered, and a life is turned upside down. The ache is too much to
bear and the grieving heart cries out for those "magic words" that will "make me feel
better" or "make me feel like I can still go on" or "give me hope for the future without my
loved one".
Words are what is needed most, for that's the simplest form of communication. We hurt.
We need soothed and comforted. We need words of encouragement. Words that say
someone understands and cares. Words that will help us to heal.
As I've spent much time thinking about these "words", I've reached this conclusion: No
words I can utter will heal your aching heart.
Before you stop reading, please let me explain. I can utter words that say I understand
and that maybe I've been in similar shoes. My words may offer you encouragement and
hope based on faith and God's promises that we will see our loved ones again. My
words may give you the courage to continue and maybe they can be that small drink of
water you need to get a full night's sleep for a change. But that's all my words can do.
They cannot heal. They can only encourage.
But words ARE what is needed to start the healing process, and the RIGHT words CAN
heal your heart from the inside out, which is the only healing that will help get you
through the grief. The words you need, however, are not mine. They are the words in
your very own mouth.
If you want true healing to begin, so the ache will become tolerable and the grief
bearable, so you will truly begin to feel as if life does go on and you can truly get
through this, and for the strength to move on with your life, YOU need to utter the only
words than can heal: Help me.
Those two words, to the right ears, are all you need to start the healing process. The
right ears belong to Jesus.
I know this is true because I have been there. Friends could encourage me, comfort me,
and be a shoulder to lean on. But they couldn't heal my heart from the depths of grief
and despair. Until I looked up and began to reach out to the only one who can heal from
the inside out, I wallowed in my pain and grief. My prayer to him (my words) was
something similar to this:
Lord, Lord, hear my prayers. Be with me and hold me gently in my grief. Give me the
strength to withstand this pain. Comfort me in my sorrow and grant me your Peace that
surpasses all human understanding. Lift me up and walk with me every step I take,
leading and guiding me in this new life without my loved one. I need you Lord, and put
my trust and faith in you. I cannot bear this alone and I know you are with me, as you
promised never to leave me. I stand on your promises, Lord. Help me. I cannot do this
on my own.
Yes, I can encourage you, but I cannot heal your heart. I encourage you to pray. Use
your words to the One who CAN bear your pain and heal your heart. Allow Him to start
the healing process within you. Allow Him to help you get through the difficult days
ahead. Grief is the hardest thing you will ever encounter in this life, but you don't have to
go through it alone. I know. I couldn't have done it without Him.
Allow the words at Rainbow Faith to encourage you and visit back often as we do
update our site regularly. Read many of the encouraging poems and stories that some of
our other readers have submitted, for they have walked in similar shoes as yours as
well. But for true healing, spend some quiet time alone with our Lord God. Let Him know
your innermost thoughts. Let Him help you to heal and find that Peace in your life.
He will heal your heart in ways that only He can, from the inside out. All you have to do
is seek Him and ask.
Joy will come again to you. He promises. ~ Ferna
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Life After Loss |