| Your World Changed © Ferna Lary Mills |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Some time ago I read a story about a woman who had been in a coma for several years
and through some miraculous turn of events, she awoke. Other than some weight loss,
she appeared the same on the outside, and mentally, she was pretty much the same on
the inside. But the story was mainly about how, although she survived and remained pretty
much the same person as she was before her coma, the rest of her world had completely
changed.
Her "babies" were no longer small. Her husband, no longer as young. Her mother had
passed away; her father was in a nursing home, a victim of Alzheimer's; her best friend
was now divorced and had moved away to another state. Of course, the story didn't even
include things such as the rising cost of gasoline, the Presidential election, the war in Iraq,
or any other current national and international events. But over a period of years, her
world had completely changed, both the inner circle of her immediate family, and the
international community. Coming out of her coma, she felt as if she was born into a new
dimension, an alternate world.
Basically, this woman didn't change. But everything around her DID.
Grief is like that, only it doesn't take a long period of years or involve being in a coma. It
happens to most of us instantly, the moment a loved one dies. Sometimes the grieving
process starts long before a death, when a loved one becomes terminally ill, but grief
changes our world.
What once felt like solid ground now feels like a sponge. What once were our hopes and
dreams have crumbled and left us wondering what to do next. My favorite analogy is that
it's like reading a book. You love the story and the plot, and you love the characters.
You're perfectly happy to just keep reading this story forever. Suddenly it's as if the author
quit writing and the book is left unfinished. There's no happy ending and you are still left
with hundreds of unanswered questions. But it's over. That's it. No more. The rest of the
pages are empty. Well, not quite.
When your grief began, your life and your world forever changed. One of the most
important characters is no longer in your book. The events ahead and the happy ending
you hoped for has been stolen away from you. But the pages are not empty. They are
simply waiting for you to write them.
You see, this book is YOUR life. Although your loved one is gone on to live eternally, your
are still here, in the here and now. And although it's not the same life as you had before, it
can still be a very GOOD life. There are still joys ahead of you and God still has a purpose
for you. The proof of this is because you are STILL here.
People will come in and out of our lives for a season, for as long as we walk upon this
earthly sod. Unfortunately, their leaving causes us deep grief over our loss, and we are left
to find some Peace left in our life. But true peace comes in the realization that this "book"
is only the Prelude. It's often very difficult to fully realize that this life is not ALL of life. The
time we spend here is precious, but it's only the prelude to the life that God has planned
for us, eternally.
In fact, instead of a book, think of this earthly life as a learning experience in the Grand
College of life. THIS life on THIS planet is basically only the entrance exam.
God has a plan for each of us. At different seasons of our life, different people are a part of
this plan for our life. But there is a grand reunion being planned in that Holy City where at
some point, we will all be reunited with our loved ones. In that place, there will be no more
sorrow. Only Joy!
Until that grand day, spend some time in prayer with the One who can bring you true
Peace, and find our His purpose for your still being here. The closer you walk with Him,
the clearer that plan will become to you.
May God draw close to you and bring you that Peace. ~ Ferna
and through some miraculous turn of events, she awoke. Other than some weight loss,
she appeared the same on the outside, and mentally, she was pretty much the same on
the inside. But the story was mainly about how, although she survived and remained pretty
much the same person as she was before her coma, the rest of her world had completely
changed.
Her "babies" were no longer small. Her husband, no longer as young. Her mother had
passed away; her father was in a nursing home, a victim of Alzheimer's; her best friend
was now divorced and had moved away to another state. Of course, the story didn't even
include things such as the rising cost of gasoline, the Presidential election, the war in Iraq,
or any other current national and international events. But over a period of years, her
world had completely changed, both the inner circle of her immediate family, and the
international community. Coming out of her coma, she felt as if she was born into a new
dimension, an alternate world.
Basically, this woman didn't change. But everything around her DID.
Grief is like that, only it doesn't take a long period of years or involve being in a coma. It
happens to most of us instantly, the moment a loved one dies. Sometimes the grieving
process starts long before a death, when a loved one becomes terminally ill, but grief
changes our world.
What once felt like solid ground now feels like a sponge. What once were our hopes and
dreams have crumbled and left us wondering what to do next. My favorite analogy is that
it's like reading a book. You love the story and the plot, and you love the characters.
You're perfectly happy to just keep reading this story forever. Suddenly it's as if the author
quit writing and the book is left unfinished. There's no happy ending and you are still left
with hundreds of unanswered questions. But it's over. That's it. No more. The rest of the
pages are empty. Well, not quite.
When your grief began, your life and your world forever changed. One of the most
important characters is no longer in your book. The events ahead and the happy ending
you hoped for has been stolen away from you. But the pages are not empty. They are
simply waiting for you to write them.
You see, this book is YOUR life. Although your loved one is gone on to live eternally, your
are still here, in the here and now. And although it's not the same life as you had before, it
can still be a very GOOD life. There are still joys ahead of you and God still has a purpose
for you. The proof of this is because you are STILL here.
People will come in and out of our lives for a season, for as long as we walk upon this
earthly sod. Unfortunately, their leaving causes us deep grief over our loss, and we are left
to find some Peace left in our life. But true peace comes in the realization that this "book"
is only the Prelude. It's often very difficult to fully realize that this life is not ALL of life. The
time we spend here is precious, but it's only the prelude to the life that God has planned
for us, eternally.
In fact, instead of a book, think of this earthly life as a learning experience in the Grand
College of life. THIS life on THIS planet is basically only the entrance exam.
God has a plan for each of us. At different seasons of our life, different people are a part of
this plan for our life. But there is a grand reunion being planned in that Holy City where at
some point, we will all be reunited with our loved ones. In that place, there will be no more
sorrow. Only Joy!
Until that grand day, spend some time in prayer with the One who can bring you true
Peace, and find our His purpose for your still being here. The closer you walk with Him,
the clearer that plan will become to you.
May God draw close to you and bring you that Peace. ~ Ferna
Life After Loss |