| It's Time To Hang On! © Ferna Lary Mills |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
Today there's a strong, cold wind blowing. Winter is on the way and its roaring in as
strongly as the lion of March, only much colder. Standing at the window, staring out at
the dogwood tree in the front yard, I'm utterly amazed. The leaves are all gone, scattered
in the wind, except for one lonely leaf on one of the upper branches. The gusts pick up
and bend the branches far to the right, then whip back over to the left, yet that one leaf
still hangs on.
Why does this one leaf hang on when all of its friends and family are long gone? Does it
know it's the last of its kind left on this barren tree? Does it hang on for fear of letting go,
or because of its determination to make it through just one more day? To see one more
sunrise? To soak up just one more drop of dew?
My father was the youngest of 13 children, and one by one they each passed from this
life to their heavenly home, until one day, he was faced with the fact that he was the only
one left. He reminded me much of this last leaf. His grandparents, parents, aunts and
uncles, and every sibling were gone, leaving him the patriarch of our family. Sure, there
were many other family members: children, grandchildren, and a few cousins here and
there, but after being the youngest of his family for so many decades, suddenly he was
the oldest, at the young age of 70. He once told me he felt like he had a sign around his
neck that read "NEXT". I know he was lonely and frightened for we had talked about it
on numerous occasions, yet he hung on to that tree for dear life, literally. He wanted to
see every sunrise and every sunset. He wanted to hear laughter, and most of all he
wanted to love and be loved. (Of course, he also wanted to play golf!)
His last living sibling, a brother, was almost in the same boat and they had even
discussed what it would be like to be the last one left behind. They had joked about
which of them would go first. His brother was no stranger to grief, having lost the same
siblings as my father, the same parents, same aunts and uncles and grandparents, in
addition to having lost one of his own children. His wife had been ill for many years and
when she passed away, he literally "gave up". It's said that he died from a broken heart.
Four weeks after he buried his wife, he told his daughter he was just too tired. He went to
bed and passed away in his sleep.
I'm sure there are many in this same circumstance of being the last leaf on the family tree.
They have lived through the death of many of their loved ones and are now the sole
surviving sibling left behind. I can't begin to understand how that must feel, but as I get
older, I'm beginning to see it. In this self same circumstance, it seems there are two kinds
of people: Those who seem to "give up" and let go of the tree, and those who cling to life
with every muscle in their body. What makes the difference? I really don't think there is
one. Just like this dogwood tree.
This leaf hangs on because it isn't time to let go, yet. When it's time, it will fall from the
tree just as the others before it. Almost as proof that it isn't time yet, it still remains
attached to this tree, even in the cruelest cold winter wind. So, who determines when it's
time? Us? Maybe, in some circumstances, such as those who take life and death into
their own hands and commit suicide. But other than that, I believe the scriptures that
state we all have a timetable ~ God's timetable. "A time to be born and a time to die."
Someone in our family will be first. Someone will be last. But we all have a certain time
allotted us to walk on this earthly sod; a certain number of sunrises to witness, and a
certain number of sunsets to enjoy.
The big question is not why do some live long and others die young? Nor is it why do
some hang on and some seem to just give up? It's really a question of "time", and the big
question is what will we do during our allotted time? If you knew for a fact you had only
24 hours left, what would you do? What would you change? How would you live your life
differently?
Whether you have just lost a loved one, or whether you are the absolute last surviving
member of your entire family, you are still here, hanging on to that tree, maybe even
being whipped back and forth with the cold gusts of winter, struggling with your grief. But
you are still hanging on! Why? Because it's time to hang on. It's time to realize that there
is still a reason why you are here. God does have a reason and it's our task to find out
why by seeking His guidance in our life.
How many days, months, or years do we have left? Only God knows. Spend some time
getting closer to God, seeking His face, talking to Him in fervent prayer, and He WILL
show you the answers you seek. In the meantime, hang on to your branch. Just the act of
hanging on will be an encouragement to someone else. You may never know who your
strength helped to strengthen. You may never know who your perseverance helped to
persevere.
In the meantime, winter's coming. Bundle up and take care of YOU. May God bless you
and bring you His peace. ~ Ferna
strongly as the lion of March, only much colder. Standing at the window, staring out at
the dogwood tree in the front yard, I'm utterly amazed. The leaves are all gone, scattered
in the wind, except for one lonely leaf on one of the upper branches. The gusts pick up
and bend the branches far to the right, then whip back over to the left, yet that one leaf
still hangs on.
Why does this one leaf hang on when all of its friends and family are long gone? Does it
know it's the last of its kind left on this barren tree? Does it hang on for fear of letting go,
or because of its determination to make it through just one more day? To see one more
sunrise? To soak up just one more drop of dew?
My father was the youngest of 13 children, and one by one they each passed from this
life to their heavenly home, until one day, he was faced with the fact that he was the only
one left. He reminded me much of this last leaf. His grandparents, parents, aunts and
uncles, and every sibling were gone, leaving him the patriarch of our family. Sure, there
were many other family members: children, grandchildren, and a few cousins here and
there, but after being the youngest of his family for so many decades, suddenly he was
the oldest, at the young age of 70. He once told me he felt like he had a sign around his
neck that read "NEXT". I know he was lonely and frightened for we had talked about it
on numerous occasions, yet he hung on to that tree for dear life, literally. He wanted to
see every sunrise and every sunset. He wanted to hear laughter, and most of all he
wanted to love and be loved. (Of course, he also wanted to play golf!)
His last living sibling, a brother, was almost in the same boat and they had even
discussed what it would be like to be the last one left behind. They had joked about
which of them would go first. His brother was no stranger to grief, having lost the same
siblings as my father, the same parents, same aunts and uncles and grandparents, in
addition to having lost one of his own children. His wife had been ill for many years and
when she passed away, he literally "gave up". It's said that he died from a broken heart.
Four weeks after he buried his wife, he told his daughter he was just too tired. He went to
bed and passed away in his sleep.
I'm sure there are many in this same circumstance of being the last leaf on the family tree.
They have lived through the death of many of their loved ones and are now the sole
surviving sibling left behind. I can't begin to understand how that must feel, but as I get
older, I'm beginning to see it. In this self same circumstance, it seems there are two kinds
of people: Those who seem to "give up" and let go of the tree, and those who cling to life
with every muscle in their body. What makes the difference? I really don't think there is
one. Just like this dogwood tree.
This leaf hangs on because it isn't time to let go, yet. When it's time, it will fall from the
tree just as the others before it. Almost as proof that it isn't time yet, it still remains
attached to this tree, even in the cruelest cold winter wind. So, who determines when it's
time? Us? Maybe, in some circumstances, such as those who take life and death into
their own hands and commit suicide. But other than that, I believe the scriptures that
state we all have a timetable ~ God's timetable. "A time to be born and a time to die."
Someone in our family will be first. Someone will be last. But we all have a certain time
allotted us to walk on this earthly sod; a certain number of sunrises to witness, and a
certain number of sunsets to enjoy.
The big question is not why do some live long and others die young? Nor is it why do
some hang on and some seem to just give up? It's really a question of "time", and the big
question is what will we do during our allotted time? If you knew for a fact you had only
24 hours left, what would you do? What would you change? How would you live your life
differently?
Whether you have just lost a loved one, or whether you are the absolute last surviving
member of your entire family, you are still here, hanging on to that tree, maybe even
being whipped back and forth with the cold gusts of winter, struggling with your grief. But
you are still hanging on! Why? Because it's time to hang on. It's time to realize that there
is still a reason why you are here. God does have a reason and it's our task to find out
why by seeking His guidance in our life.
How many days, months, or years do we have left? Only God knows. Spend some time
getting closer to God, seeking His face, talking to Him in fervent prayer, and He WILL
show you the answers you seek. In the meantime, hang on to your branch. Just the act of
hanging on will be an encouragement to someone else. You may never know who your
strength helped to strengthen. You may never know who your perseverance helped to
persevere.
In the meantime, winter's coming. Bundle up and take care of YOU. May God bless you
and bring you His peace. ~ Ferna
Life After Loss |