| Foresight vs. Hindsight Seeing Through the Tears © Ferna Lary Mills |
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| A Christian Grief Ministry |
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| Grief hurts. The tears won’t stop. The emptiness is unbearable and Hope seems to be an empty concept. At least in the beginning. We try to look ahead and all we can see are more years of this empty, endless hurt. It seems hopeless because we’re helpless and we wonder how much of this we can really stand. Is life going to be a mere existence for us for the rest of our days? Or is there really hope to be found? In our grief, hindsight reminds us how much we’ve lost and foresight seems to tell us how little we will ever have again compared to that loss. Wow. No hope at all there! No wonder grief seems so hopeless. While corresponding with a dear friend who has just recently lost her husband, I wondered why God gave us hindsight and foresight if they are both so very hopeless. Is this really a good thing? The answer is yes, if we look at it from His eyes. Of course, God sees everything in the eternal-present. He sees you from the moment He first stepped out in space and thought of you, to the very ends of eternity, all at once, as an “all-of-you-at-one-time” version of you. He doesn’t see the “before-grief you” and the “after-grief you” as two separate visions. Nor does He see the “infant” you and the “grandparent” you as two separate visions. He’s sees you wholly, from the first moment to the last, all at once, right now. Wow. Try to imagine the "you" He really sees. His vision of you is an “eternal present” vision. He knows every hurt and sorrow and every joy your life has ever held or will ever hold, eternally. So His foresight and hindsight are perfect. No unknowns, no hidden secrets. Our foresight and hindsight of course are very flawed. Our hindsight is distorted by so many things we’ve forgotten. Even our fondest memories fade and distort with enough time. Our foresight is broken before we even start, because none of us can accurately predict future events in our life. We can base what we THINK our future holds based on where we have been and where we are right now, but we can’t really KNOW what it holds until it gets here. Add grief to the mixture and we can’t see through the tears. The future seems empty and hopeless. There IS hope, however. Here's an interesting exercise: Using your hindsight, think for a moment back to a time when events in your life were really bad. (No, not the grief you are going through right now because this is the present, but another previous event in your life.) Maybe it was a bad time in your life before God sent you your loved one? Maybe it was a situation you thought you would never get through. Maybe there was another point in your life that although it can’t compare with your grief now, maybe it was, at that time, the hardest thing you had ever been through. Now, think of a time after that when you experienced real joy again in your life. Maybe it was the birth of a child or grandchild, or a marriage, a rewarding job, or some special event in your life that blessed you in a special way. During that previous bad time, your foresight couldn’t imagine the good time that would follow, but it happened! Now, answer this question: During that really bad time in your life, if I had stepped off a street corner and told you about the really happy time to come in your life in such a few short years, would you have believed me? Or would you have thought I was insane? Many years ago, I found myself in a horrible situation and my own life seemed utterly and completely hopeless. I know for a fact, if YOU had stepped off a street corner and told me I would get through it and then if YOU had listed one-by-one the multitude of joys I’ve experienced since then, I would have thought YOU were insane! Because I didn’t have the foresight to see the joys ahead of me, and because I was buried in my sorrow and despair at the time, I couldn’t imagine ever finding joy again in my life. But it happened! I’m certain that the grief you are experiencing right now is probably the worst thing you’ve ever had to go through. Because of your grief, it may be impossible for you to imagine that one day Joy WILL return to your life, but I’m going to step off the proverbial street corner right now and tell you, “Yes, it WILL.” How do I know this? Mainly because I know that God loves you. I have loved you with an everlasting love! (Jeremiah 31:3) He only wants the very best for you. I know the plans I have for you, states the Lord. Plans to prosper you and to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) Although you are grieving now, He promises that joy WILL return to you. Your grief is not going to be this intense forever. Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. (Psalms 30:5) Remember that previous bad time? Remember the joys that have followed since then? He is ever faithful! But has He forgotten you, even now in your grief? Absolutely not! I know that sometimes in our grief it feels like God has turned His back on us, but trust me when I tell you this just is not true. That’s merely the grief talking. I am with you always, even to the ends of the earth. (Matthew 28:20) He never promised that we wouldn’t have problems, but He did promise we would never have to go through them alone! Though you may walk through the valley of the shadow of death, He is always with you! I know it's impossible to imagine the joys He still has planned for you. Only He knows what they are. But know that He does have a plan! In the meantime, actively seek the blessings in your life and you will find them. As the old hymn goes: Count your blessings ... name them one by one. Spend many hours in prayer, building that personal relationship with him, for when you seek Him, you WILL find Him. When you just can’t pray, spend time reading the scriptures, for they are filled with His promises for you. Or just spend some quiet time “waiting on God” and in the gentle stillness, listening for His still small voice. May God bring you comfort and peace. May He dry your eyes and make you vividly aware of His awesome presence in your life. May you become as acutely aware of Him, as He is of you. ~ Ferna |
Life After Loss |
Life After Loss |
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