| Fall in Love with the Author © Ferna Lary Mills |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
I'm still amazed at how one event can so drastically change everything. It's almost like trying
to read a book and then in the middle of a chapter, finding out the author quit writing that
book and started another. You love these characters with all your heart and you have
shared a wonderful history together through so many adventures. They are so much a part
of your life that it's sometimes hard to tell where they end and where you begin. That's the
story of our life: hearts touching hearts. Everyone we meet touches us in some way and we
are forever changed.
Whether our life-book is a real page turner or whether we've just been plodding along, we
are generally happy with the plot. We have dreams and hopes and plans ~ then suddenly,
one day you turn the page, a new day dawns, and ~ POOF! Nothing! The life-book you
had imagined you would be living for many more years is suddenly forever changed. A
loved one is gone and it seems as if the ending has been ripped from you!
Excuse the analogy, but my own personal grief has felt like that. My loved ones and I had
hopes and dreams and plans and suddenly they were no longer in my "life-book". It left me
stunned, wondering how my life could have changed so dramatically overnight. I liked the
book the way it was. I didn't want it to change. I wanted these characters with me for the
rest of my life. I wasn't ready to let them go. The pages ahead seemed so terribly empty
and void without them.
Yes, I still remember the story, the dreams, the people and all the love that was shared
while our adventure unfolded. But it's as if that story ended. It just didn't seem fair that the
main characters died before my book ended.
I begin to realize that now it's as if I'm living in an entirely different book. Too many of the
old characters are no longer here other than in my memories, my heart, and many old
photographs. This new story, the book where I now reside, will have new characters (as
yet unknown to me) that will interact with me, but where this book will go, or when it will
end, only One knows ~The One above who knows All ~ The Creator - the Author - of my
life.
Now, this doesn't mean I will forget my loved ones who have passed on, for I never will. But
it does mean that I am still here and my story is meant to continue on, at least for a time. I
know this is true because I am still here. I still exist in the here and now. I also know the
love in my heart didn't die when my loved ones did and I have still plenty of love left inside
of me, although it often seems buried beneath a huge pile of grief.
My loved ones are still here - inside my heart, my thoughts and within my spirit. They will
continue to follow me into this new adventure. Although the Author may never mention them
again by name in my current book, I know they will always be a part of me. I am who I am
because of them, and for that I'm truly blessed. But until our grand reunion in that most
Glorious Place, their name has temporarily been omitted from the rest of the book where I
currently reside by an Author whose reasons are known only to Him.
For now, their names are emblazoned only on my heart, no longer on my pages. At times,
I'm angry because I can't comprehend the plot, and I can't imagine the outcome of the final
story. Sometimes I feel as if the Author is using up too much of his eraser and not enough
of his pencil. But I do LOVE and TRUST the Author with all of my heart and all of my being,
and that's the most important thing of all, no matter how the rest of my story goes.
May God grant each of us the strength to get past the grief-filled pages and to walk through
the new pages of our new journey. May He give us each the peace and mercy to continue
as He continues to unfold the adventures ahead of us. May we understand that although
our personality and our reactions to the pages and events to come may alter our story
somewhat, we are NOT the Author of our book. We are created in His image. He placed us
in these pages and His pen has the final edit. We may have many chapters left before our
final ending, or we may have only a sentence or two. Only our Author truly knows.
May we always look to Him with love and trust and keep His words always in our heart. For
His love is perfect. His timing is perfect. And even though we may not fully understand it
right now, His ending is going to be truly awesome, tremendously spectacular, and beyond
anything our minds can now conceive! Enjoy your adventure, but along the way, spend
some time falling deeply in love with the Author ~ an awesome, loving, compassionate God.
Although your heart is broken, He still had wondrous joys planned for you ahead. Let Him
be your strength and bring you to that wonderful place of Peace, as you continue to
discover what He has in store for the rest of your book. It's a fascinating, wondrous
adventure if you simply remember to fall deeply in love ~ with the Author!
to read a book and then in the middle of a chapter, finding out the author quit writing that
book and started another. You love these characters with all your heart and you have
shared a wonderful history together through so many adventures. They are so much a part
of your life that it's sometimes hard to tell where they end and where you begin. That's the
story of our life: hearts touching hearts. Everyone we meet touches us in some way and we
are forever changed.
Whether our life-book is a real page turner or whether we've just been plodding along, we
are generally happy with the plot. We have dreams and hopes and plans ~ then suddenly,
one day you turn the page, a new day dawns, and ~ POOF! Nothing! The life-book you
had imagined you would be living for many more years is suddenly forever changed. A
loved one is gone and it seems as if the ending has been ripped from you!
Excuse the analogy, but my own personal grief has felt like that. My loved ones and I had
hopes and dreams and plans and suddenly they were no longer in my "life-book". It left me
stunned, wondering how my life could have changed so dramatically overnight. I liked the
book the way it was. I didn't want it to change. I wanted these characters with me for the
rest of my life. I wasn't ready to let them go. The pages ahead seemed so terribly empty
and void without them.
Yes, I still remember the story, the dreams, the people and all the love that was shared
while our adventure unfolded. But it's as if that story ended. It just didn't seem fair that the
main characters died before my book ended.
I begin to realize that now it's as if I'm living in an entirely different book. Too many of the
old characters are no longer here other than in my memories, my heart, and many old
photographs. This new story, the book where I now reside, will have new characters (as
yet unknown to me) that will interact with me, but where this book will go, or when it will
end, only One knows ~The One above who knows All ~ The Creator - the Author - of my
life.
Now, this doesn't mean I will forget my loved ones who have passed on, for I never will. But
it does mean that I am still here and my story is meant to continue on, at least for a time. I
know this is true because I am still here. I still exist in the here and now. I also know the
love in my heart didn't die when my loved ones did and I have still plenty of love left inside
of me, although it often seems buried beneath a huge pile of grief.
My loved ones are still here - inside my heart, my thoughts and within my spirit. They will
continue to follow me into this new adventure. Although the Author may never mention them
again by name in my current book, I know they will always be a part of me. I am who I am
because of them, and for that I'm truly blessed. But until our grand reunion in that most
Glorious Place, their name has temporarily been omitted from the rest of the book where I
currently reside by an Author whose reasons are known only to Him.
For now, their names are emblazoned only on my heart, no longer on my pages. At times,
I'm angry because I can't comprehend the plot, and I can't imagine the outcome of the final
story. Sometimes I feel as if the Author is using up too much of his eraser and not enough
of his pencil. But I do LOVE and TRUST the Author with all of my heart and all of my being,
and that's the most important thing of all, no matter how the rest of my story goes.
May God grant each of us the strength to get past the grief-filled pages and to walk through
the new pages of our new journey. May He give us each the peace and mercy to continue
as He continues to unfold the adventures ahead of us. May we understand that although
our personality and our reactions to the pages and events to come may alter our story
somewhat, we are NOT the Author of our book. We are created in His image. He placed us
in these pages and His pen has the final edit. We may have many chapters left before our
final ending, or we may have only a sentence or two. Only our Author truly knows.
May we always look to Him with love and trust and keep His words always in our heart. For
His love is perfect. His timing is perfect. And even though we may not fully understand it
right now, His ending is going to be truly awesome, tremendously spectacular, and beyond
anything our minds can now conceive! Enjoy your adventure, but along the way, spend
some time falling deeply in love with the Author ~ an awesome, loving, compassionate God.
Although your heart is broken, He still had wondrous joys planned for you ahead. Let Him
be your strength and bring you to that wonderful place of Peace, as you continue to
discover what He has in store for the rest of your book. It's a fascinating, wondrous
adventure if you simply remember to fall deeply in love ~ with the Author!
Life After Loss |