| Finding True Peace © Ferna Lary Mills |
|
|
 |
| A Christian Grief Ministry |
 |
| Grief takes a huge toll on our soul. It’s an emptiness that can consume us and make us weary to the bone, although that term often seems like a huge understatement. We cry until no more tears will come; we bury our heads under our pillow; we find ourselves so low that we just can’t seem to find the strength to find our way back. Our strength is gone, our spirit is drained, and there seems to be nothing left to lift us back up out of this horrible pit. At this lowest point we just want to lie down and give up. It seems that life is no longer worth living and we would prefer to just to go sleep and never wake again. That’s the depths that Grief can take us. So what can we do when we find ourselves at that depth? How do we break the chain of despair and reach the end of the rope that we turned loose of, and pull ourselves back up out of this pit? How do we find the strength? The desire? The courage? The will to go on? It’s not easy, but it is possible, and I know this for I’ve been in that place of complete and total misery. I’ve seen it from the inside, felt it in the pit of my soul, and wrangled with its grip through the darkness of many nights. I know it’s not a pretty place and I know its powerful agony. I also know there is an escape ~ an escape from grief back to the world of the living ~ an escape that eventually leads to real joy. This escape route begins with adjusting your focus. Do you remember the old camera’s, before the days of “auto-focus”? With those old cameras, if you didn’t manually adjust your focus you would end up with a photo of blurry people and a clear background. Or if you were taking a scenic snapshot, you might end up with a blurry scene and a clear telephone pole up close. Success or failure in taking just the perfect picture depended almost solely on your ability to manually focus that lens. Getting out of the mire of your grief depends almost totally on your ability to do that very same thing. Where is your focus? Can you only see what you have lost? Or maybe you just can’t see anything through your tears. Are you focused only on the past? Or focused on the emptiness of the present? All of these will give you a very blurry picture of your life and not a very pretty picture to give you hope enough to reach for the end of that rope. Manually adjust your focus. It’s not easy, but not impossible either. Focus on Jesus. Period. If you can make that manual adjustment and find yourself focusing solely on Jesus and His love for you, then everything else will eventually fade away: the pain, the hurt, the emptiness, the despair. I don’t mean for you to focus on him temporarily. Rather, focus on him solely, continually, moment by moment, with your every waking breath. Talk with him in continual prayer, read the scriptures that tell of His love and His sacrifice for you. Listen for His still small voice in your heart. Ask Him to renew your spirit and be your strength. For only by focusing on Jesus will you find that place of peace and the renewal of your spirit. Only by focusing on His love will you fill that emptiness in your heart. Sound too simple? Maybe. But it’s true. Jesus loves you. He grieves when you grieve and He wants to be your comforter, your savior, your best friend, your helper. All you have to do is focus on Him and ask. He will be your strength and carry you when you don’t have the strength to lift your head. He will cover you with a peace that no human on earth can begin to understand. He will show you the pathway for you to walk for a future filled with joy and He will walk with you every step of this new journey. No human being on this planet can offer you relief from your grief. No amount of money, no event, no place on earth will give you that kind of peace. Yet His peace is given freely, and all that is required is that you seek Him. Now, this kind of focus does take effort on your part. You have to lift your eyes to meet His, and you have to ask. You have to believe, and you have to trust Him. Trust in His eternal faithfulness. He is always with you and promises never to leave you. Never. Who else in this life can make that promise to you? Who else has the power to heal your aching heart? Who else loved you enough to die on a cross so that our life can be eternal and without end? Reunions are being planned in Heaven, even as we weep. If we can keep our focus on Jesus, we can rest assured in His promise that we will see our loved ones again one day, and we can have His peace to continue to live out our lives until that appointed time. When you find yourself falling back into that pit, re-adjust your focus back on Jesus. To focus on anything else may cause you to fall back into that pit of grief. If something is standing between you and Him, then move. Stay as close to His side as humanly possible. He will never leave you, but things in life will try to wedge between you and the Lord. When you feel alone and it seems like you just can’t feel His presence, remember His promise: I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS. He will never leave you, ever. Remind yourself that He is STILL with you, even when you feel like you are all alone. Find that quiet place where you can be still and block out the noises of this life and just listen for His voice in your heart in the stillness. Most importantly, ALLOW Him to comfort you. He wants to, but you have to allow it. Be willing to give up your grief for His comfort. Sometimes it is so hard to do that because we feel like if we give up our “grief”, then we are failing to grieve our loved one properly. This is not so. Give your grief to Him and allow His comfort to take place. It does not mean you don’t still love and miss your loved one. It simply means that you have changed your focus….from your loved one….to Jesus. And that’s okay. Your loved one is sitting at Jesus’ feet, and that’s what they want you to do ~ focus on Jesus. Honor your loved ones in this way. May the Peace of God, that surpasses all understanding, be with you. May you find that special relationship with Jesus, a friendship like no other, and may you find the real Joy that He has planned for you as you walk and talk with Him every step you take. God bless you. ~ Ferna |
Life After Loss |
Life After Loss |
 |