© Ferna Lary Mills
Grief, simply put, never ends. This is because we never stop loving the one who is gone from
us. But as we go on with living, grief eventually fades into the background of our lives, only on
occasion raising its ugly head. In the hustle and bustle of every day life, sometimes we find
ourselves moved beyond our grief and wrapped up in just plain living. This is a good thing, for
it gives us time and distance from our pain as we continue to heal.
When my grandmother passed away at the age of 92, it was not the first loss of a dear loved
one that I've had to endure, and probably not the last. But it was the most recent. However, I
discovered that not only did I have to face a new grief - this loss also reminded me of my "old"
grief. Suddenly, grief was no longer in the background of my life. It seemed as if everything
had returned with raw emotion, right back up to the surface.
Now, if you have ever read anything I've ever written here, you will know that I cannot deal with
these things. I simply don't have the strength. Fortunately, this is okay. One of my favorite
scriptures is Psalms 46:1 ~ "God is my strength and my refuge. An ever present help in times
During sorrow and strife, how many times have I cried out to God to "Give me strength!" when
in all actuality, that wasn't really what I needed Him to do. For even God can't give this mortal
body enough strength to endure some of the things life has tossed at me. That doesn't mean
He "can't" do it. It simply means He didn't create THIS mortal body to handle that type of
strength. That's okay, though, because He has a much better plan!
In times of trouble, when you feel like you can't go on, that your bones are tired, your soul is
weary and there's just no strength left in your spirit to persevere - ask God for that strength.
However, instead of asking Him to "GIVE me strength", pray that He will BE your strength.
By asking God to BE your strength, you are no longer limited by your own resources. He will
be that supernatural strength that can only come from Him ~ from within!
This doesn't mean you're suddenly Superman and you can leap tall buildings. But with His
strength, you can put one foot in front of the other when all you want to do is sleep. With His
strength you can carry on with the things that you must do day to day when all you want to do
is bury your head in the sand. His strength gets you up and moving when your strength cannot
even stop the flow of one single tear.
During 10-months of one year, I lost both of my parents, went through a divorce, battled my
daughter's health and school problems, and watched my son's health deteriorate due to what
we believed was a terminal illness. Surely you don't believe I came through all that on my own!
No, I'm just not that good! But God used His own strength in place of mine to get me through
all of that and more. Until you experience it for yourself, it's impossible to comprehend.
The neatest thing is that all you have to do ... is ask. His strength, His peace, and His comfort
are just beyond your sight, yet given freely when you ask. I know this because I have asked
many times, and He has answered as many times. He promises to be our "ever present help"
in times of trouble.
I place one foot in front of the other, not on my own, but through Him. In the allegory,
"Footprints in the Sand", the author says God told the man He walked beside him in life
leaving two sets of footprints most of the time. When there was only one set of footprints, that
was the times that God was carrying him through his trials.
I prefer to believe that I always leave only one set of footprints, because God is walking in
them with me. He can't get any closer to me than that.
May God bless you and comfort you and give you His blessed peace.
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Comfort one another ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:18
Life After Loss
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