|Grief Resulting From Loss
|"He is despised and rejected by men,
a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,
and we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him."
(Emphasis mine) Isaiah 53:3
When my father died, I grieved. But my pain was lessened by the knowledge that
death was inevitable. I was also blessed in that we were able to resolve past
issues leaving nothing unsaid. He had suffered so many years that his passing
was almost a relief. I missed him yes, but I was also grateful he was no longer
The death of an extended member of my family had a much more profound effect
on my life. I remember the morning I received the phone call. I listened in a state of
shock and disbelief. After, I walked outside looking around me unable to
comprehend how life could be proceeding along as though nothing had changed.
The next few days passed in a blur, then the reality hit me that I would never see
this young man again, and for a month my every waking moment was spent
grieving a life that ended - in my estimation - long before its time.
Since then, I have met and shared in the grief of many, many others. Some are
able to work through it - never forgetting - yet resuming life without the loved on as
best they can. Others are still struggling with trying to accept it, even going so far
as hanging on to feelings of guilt that they were somehow negligent and/or
Loss encompasses more than actual physical death. We can experience grief over:
relationships ending; our children leaving home - by choice, design, or rebellion;
watching someone we care for suffer with disease; shattered childhoods; loss of
innocence; the list is endless.
The most common questions I hear asked are, "Why?" and "Where was God?" The
first I cannot answer. The second, Beloved, God was there. At that precise moment
in time - as well as before and after - He was present.
For myself, I will never understand the mystery of the 'whys' as long as I am
present in this body. What I can say however is that God knows and understands
How? Because "Jesus Wept." (John 11:35 NKJV) And because God is love. He
loves us. When we hurt, He hurts. He longs to bring comfort.
Grief can be worked through. It does not have to keep us immobilized or paralyzed.
It will not happen overnight. One day at a time. Believing God can change
overwhelming grief into acceptance is the first step. Rely on the Lord to hold and
bear us up. Remember that He will never leave us or forsake us. And when the
time comes, share your experiences with those who are recently bereaved.
I would like to leave you with this thought:
Lord, help us to remember,
"blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."
|Copyright by Kathi Toups
Posted here with author's permission.
|A Christian Grief Ministry