“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will
is….His good, pleasing and perfect will.” ~ Romans 12:2
I stumbled onto a story by Patricia Lorenz about a woman that had lost both her
arms and legs due to a terrible disease. She had the choice to give up or test a
new and different path. She chose the latter and learned to walk, drive a car and
went back to her job teaching music.
As she was going through the rehab program she said to herself, “Be a new
person in all that you do and think, but take it one step at a time”. This woman
has been blessed with tremendous happiness, contentment and unswerving faith
in God. She is a single Mom raising two adopted boys.
The story touched my heart. I have been standing still looking at a new and
different path ever since I lost my beloved husband, John, more than two years
ago. I’ve been too afraid to step onto that new path. I liked the old, beautiful and
smooth path that I had walked for forty-five years. But I thought, why not take that
first step? If God’s will is good, pleasing and perfect, what an I waiting for? What
am I questioning?
John was always very patient with me, but I felt like he was nudging me forward. I
know he would want me to be happy and I think he would be disappointed that I
have grieved for over two long years.
I had lunch with a friend and her eighty-nine year old mother on the same day
that I had read this story. She said to me, “You need to put some happiness and
fun into your life.” I have mulled that over and know that is true. These same
words had been said to me before by other people but I had never really HEARD
them. Maybe I was finally ready to hear them.
I went to a movie with a friend … a movie! I hadn’t been to a movie in years. And
I had a good time … no! A GREAT time. I think I had been avoiding having fun.
Was I afraid to have fun? Was it honorable to have fun? Fun just didn’t seem
right. But something was changing.
What if I get happy and start laughing will people think I love John less? Now that
is stinkin’ thinkin’! Perhaps the reality of my happiness will reflect my love for
John and his love for me. And I can still cry if I need to, but I don’t have to let grief
rule my life.
I realized that when I began to walk down this new and different path I do not
have to forget my precious memories. That was one of my main fears. I can take
those memories with me!! I can still love John as I did in yesterday. John can not
walk this path with me, just as I could not walk the path that God chose for him.
But, I feel that he will always be close by if I need him and he was always a good
This story said to “grab on to every ‘new and different’ thing that comes into my
life with all the gusto I can muster…and to live life”! So, here I go … one step at a
time on that new and different path! Will this new path be rocky and steep?…
Probably … but if I stumble and fall I can always get up and start again. I believe
that God in his mercy will pick me up and walk with me … maybe even dance
I have been walking through the “valley of the shadow of death”… but only by
taking one step at a time. Oh, Dear God, am I making it out of the valley?
Thank you, God. Thy will be done.
|A Christian Grief Ministry